So happy I just passed my SPHR exam! I studied for approx 155 hours.
“The Senior Professional in Human Resources (SPHR®) certification is designed for the HR professional. The SPHR exam is divided into six functional areas: Business Management and Strategy, Workforce Planning and Employment, Human Resource Development, Compensation and Benefits, Employee and Labor Relations, and Risk Management.”
dm
Friday, May 18, 2012
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Act Like You've Been There Before
I remember seeing a movie a few years ago where a highschool coach had one of his players run a touchdown in and the kid went crazy. The coach pulled him aside and told him, "Son, when you get in the endzone, act like you've been there before."I loved that line.
I learned later that it has been attributed in real life to either Bear Bryant or Vince Lombardi depending on who you ask. But the point is important.
The way we carry ourselves says something about us. When we do something well we should act like it is normal and we expected to do that. It is not a surprise to us or anyone else. Excellence is how we do business. We punch in, be great, and punch out.
There is a time to celebrate. There is also a proper level of celebration. You high five for a score, cheer at the end of a game, pop champagne at the end a championship. But you also have to show respect to your competitors.
These things are true in sports, business and your personal life. You should always carry yourself with dignity and class.
And act like you've been there before.
dm
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
The Price of Principles
I fell in love with the Beach Boys when I was about 14. That was 30 years ago. You can do the math on how old I am. I had the pleasure a few weeks ago of meeting them on their 50th Anniversary Tour. It was one of the highlights of my life.I have been collecting Beach Boys music and memorabilia since I was a teenager. As part of the 50th Anniversary Tour they have released a commemorative cd with an exclusive song and a 72 page magazine.
But I can't buy it.
Oh, I could walk into any Wal-Mart and purchase it for less than $15 easily enough. But I can't. I banned Wal-Mart.
I don't think Wal-Mart is evil like many people do. I just think they don't care about me as a customer. My decision was not over a one-time incident in one store. It was the result of a systemic problem over a period of years.
Like many people I bought everything at Wal-Mart; groceries, household supplies, etc. We spent thousands of dollars a year there. Their customer service gradually became more and more apathetic. I had been complaining about it more and more.
Finally, one day I had an experience where several people in a store treated me terribly. I decided I was leaving the store. On my way out I decided to never come back. I went to the customer service area to let them know about my decision. After waiting by myself several minutes for the lady to finish her personal phone call, I told her of my decision. She told me I could call some phone number if I wanted to complain. I gave her my card instead and told her they could call me if they cared. Over one year later nobody has ever called.
So now the Beach Boys have partnered with Wal-Mart on this exclusive merchandise and I can't have it. I don't mind at all.
If you don't pay a price for your principles, what good are they?
dm
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Difficult Conversations and Harmony
Relationships and Teamwork are like playing a harmonious chord on a guitar. It is simple. You have several strings all tuned to the proper pitches, you hold notes in a chord with one hand while you gently strum the guitar with the other hand. Harmony.And a beautiful sound comes out. Unless it doesn't. One of the strings may have been out of tune.
Now we have a performance issue. We have to get this string back into shape or it won't work well with the rest of the strings. Let's change to a different chord and strum. Ouch. Same problem. Maybe we should strum a little harder or softer. Nope....nope. Neither of those helped.
Now what can we do to the guitar to fix it? We may have to stop playing, or sell it, or give it away.
"Sir, if I may interrupt, why don't you just tune it?"
Oh, tune it? Well, I suppose I could but that seems too personal. I would rather treat the guitar as a whole and not point out any one part that is having problems. I don't want to embarrass the guitar, I just want it to sound good.
And if I tune it I will have to isolate it, put a tool on it, twist and turn it, probably tighten and make it stretch and tense until it hits just the right note. Then I can strum it a while and it sounds beautiful. After a while another string gets a little bent out of shape. Now I have to twist and stretch that string until it gets into shape and sounds good with the rest of the strings.
Or until it snaps and I replace it with a new string. Some strings aren't as strong as others and all strings wear out someday. At some point we will replace all these strings. This is difficult.
This week I have had several meetings with people that turned into the topic of, "How do you have difficult conversations?"
I have some advice for dealing with difficult conversations:1. Always have the other person's best interest in heart.
It does not mean that you will say or do what they want to hear, but you must have a clean conscience and believe that what you are doing is the best and right thing to do for them in the long run.
2. Don't beat around the bush.
People can generally tell when something important is happening. Respect them enough to get to the point instead of talking about little league soccer first and after. Do that later.
3. Say it. Say it. Explain it. Say it. Give them next steps. Thank them.
Tell them the news. Then tell them again. They didn't fully grasp it the first time. The second time is like being hit with the 2x4. No speaking in analogies about tuning guitars. Just say it. Then tell them why it is this way. Don't get trapped here in a long, drawn out debate. Just give them the explanation and move on.Then tell them one more time what is happening. Then tell them what the next steps for them are. It may be "pack your office," or "get your sales up by Friday," or "start being friendly to our customers." Thank them for listening and send them on their way.
4. Follow up with consistent follow up on your part. Accountability.
If there is no follow up you completely wasted your time.
Good luck having difficult conversations. Have yours been working out?
dbm
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Showing Appreciation Properly
Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Paul White have written an outstanding book called The 5 Languages of Appreciation. Anybody in leadership should read this book to have a better understanding of how to properly show appreciation to those around them.Within everybody is a need to be appreciated. Stephen Covey says, "Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival, to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated."
Demands on employees are greater than ever. Just saying, "Thanks," isn't enough. People need to know they are truly valued and appreciated for what they do.
Among other great information in the book, Dr. White identifies four critical factors for communicating appreciation authentically.
From Dr. White:
• Appreciation must be communicated regularly. If appreciation is only communicated during performance reviews, employees don't believe the messages sent. Similarly, infrequent messages (once or twice a year) don't adequately communicate that the team member is truly valued.
• Appreciation must be individualized and delivered personally. People want to be appreciated for what they individually have contributed. Unfortunately, most organizations use group-based acts of appreciation -a blast email thanking the department for getting a project done or a volunteer appreciation picnic. This type of communication often backfires, with employees becoming cynical or feeling offended by the general nature of the act.
• Appreciation needs to be communicated in the languages and actions that are meaningful to the recipient. Individuals have specific ways in which they prefer to be encouraged. When messages are sent repeatedly in ways outside of our primary language, the intent of the message "misses the mark." Not only is this ineffective, it becomes discouraging as well - both to the sender and the receiver of the message.
• Appreciation needs to be perceived as being authentic. People want appreciation to be genuine. Workers are skeptical of programs implemented from the top down where supervisors are given an instruction to "communicate appreciation for each team member at least once a week." While we all want to know that we are valued, we want it to be authentic, not contrived.
Practice showing proper appreciation this week. You may be surprised at the results.
dm
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Talking Politics: Winning The Battle or Losing The War?
As we enter the most heated part of the coming political season it is a great time to talk politics. Sort of.I am a person who has deeply held philosophical beliefs that impact my views on politics. In my career, I interact with a lot of people. Some of those people hold my views on politics and some of them do not. Hopefully, most of them have no idea which group they are in.
Many people believe the direction of our country, whichever direction you believe it is headed, is of such importance they must convert everyone they encounter to their side of the political aisle. If not everyone, at least a good number of people. If not convert, at least inspire those who think like they do, or so they assume.
The problem is that we may think we are winning the battle but we are often losing the war. Many times we do not even know which war we are fighting.
Dale Carnegie has a classic book titled, How To Win Friends and Influence People. Most people would like to increase their influence in society. They would like a raise, a promotion, more responsibility, better projects, more respect, etc. So the goal is often that of friendliness and influence.
However, if I am in a room that is 75% of one political view and 25% the other, as soon as I espouse my political views, I have either alienated 25% of the room, or worse, 75%! If my goal is to increase my friendliness and influence I have just decreased my effectiveness toward that goal with an enormous number of people.
You might respond that influence is no good if not used to save the country! But I would ask again to think about your goals. If you are a salesperson, your goal is to sell your product. If you are a communicator, your goal is to deliver your message. If you work in customer service, your goal is to represent your brand. Anything that distracts from your ultimate goal harms your personal influence and chances for success.
But what if your ultimate passion and goal is to save the country? Then a career in politics or public service is where you might want to spend your time. These are the people we expect to publicly espouse their views.
David, are you saying I do not have a right to say what I believe in? Of course not! You have every right. I am recommending prudence, good judgment, and an evaluation of what your greater goal is.
Consider how your political discourse impacts your influence on other people.
dm
Saturday, April 14, 2012
How To Exterminate A.N.T.S.
Dr. Daniel Amen calls Automatic Negative Thoughts, "A.N.T.S." And he says they are doing us a lot of harm. Amen is a child and adult psychiatrist who has several books specializing in neuroscience and behavior. Dr. Amen describes ANTS as "cynical, gloomy and complaining thoughts that just seem to keep marching in all by themselves."
You know the kind of thoughts:
- "Why are they talking about me?"
- "Things never work out for me."
- "I will never succeed."
- "This is going to turn out bad."
- "I'm not going to feel well today."
It is important for us to understand that thoughts send electrical signals though our brains. They therefore have physical properties. We must teach ourselves to control our thoughts.
Dr. Amen suggests 8 Steps to Controlling Our Thoughts:
1. Realize that your thoughts are real.
2. Notice how negative thoughts affect your body. (Chemicals make you feel bad.)
3. Notice how positive thoughts affect your body. (Chemicals make you feel good.)
4. Notice how your body reacts to every thought you have. (Polygraphs give an example.)
5. Think of bad thoughts as brain pollution.
6. Understand that your automatic thoughts don't always tell the truth.
7. Talk back to the A.N.T.S.
8. Exterminate the A.N.T.S.
The more we reprogram our thoughts the more we take control of our life. To learn more read Dr. Amen's book, Change Your Brain, Change Your Life.
dm
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Your Emotional Labor
Once upon a time most workers performed manual labor by working in agriculture or through manufacturing. Now we are largely a knowledge labor workforce where we process and analyze data.
There is another aspect to our labor that many of us are being paid for. It is called Emotional Labor. The term was originally coined by sociologist Arlie Hochschild and refers to the concept that we have to regulate our emotions in order to do our work. It takes labor on our part to regulate our emotions.
An obvious example is that of customer service. A customer expects us to be upbeat, helpful, and happy-to-serve. They are not really concerned about what is happening in your personal life, work-life, or your mood.
When your personal emotional state does not match the emotional state needed to serve the customer, it takes emotional labor to portray those needed emotions.
It is acting. You fake it. It is work and you get paid for it. Those who are better at emotional labor often are rewarded better for their labor than others, all other things held equal.
It is to your benefit to recognize that it requires emotional effort to do our work and to become better at regulating your emotions at work and in life.
dm
Sunday, April 1, 2012
The Adult Classroom Environment and Motivation To Learn
Last fall I finished my Masters in Adult Education. My capstone research project was on, "The Adult Classroom Environment and Motivation to Learn."
I researched how the physical and sensory environments influenced the participants' motivation to learn. The elements I examined were: ability to hear, temperature, lighting, odor, ability to see, comfortable furniture, arrangement of furniture, sounds inside the room, and sounds outside the room.
I have been encouraged to share the research. I may write on it in a more "blog-friendly" format in the future. For now I am including the abstract and a link to the paper below.
Abstract
The purpose of this study was to determine whether there is a correlation between the adult classroom environment and motivation to learn. There is much research with regard to the physical and sensory environment and how it relates to learning among K-12 students. Little research exists among adult learners exploring the same relationship. The researcher surveyed adult students among four university classrooms of varying types: an accounting class, a biology class, a computer class, and a political science research class. A convenience sampling of 93 subjects were surveyed to determine their perceptions of the classroom environment and their motivation to learn. Subjects were also surveyed to determine their comfort in relation to room temperature as well as whether they believed the physical classroom environment influenced their academic performance. The research indicates there is a correlation between the physical and sensory elements of the adult classroom environment and motivation to learn. Most students self identified as "comfortable" or "somewhat cold" in relation to room temperature. Most students also reported the physical classroom environment influenced their academic performance. This research can be beneficial for instructors of adults who desire to create an optimal learning environment for their adult learners.
Download Perceptions of the Adult Classroom Learning Environment and Motivation to Learn
dm
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Unstoppable
Every soul who comes to earth with a leg or two at birth
must wrestle his opponents knowing its not what is,
but what can be that measures worth.
Make it hard, just make it possible and through pain,
I wont complain.
My spirit is unconquerable.
Fearless I will face each foe for I know I am capable.
I don't care whats probable,
through blood sweat and tears I am unstoppable.
-Anthony Robles
must wrestle his opponents knowing its not what is,
but what can be that measures worth.
Make it hard, just make it possible and through pain,
I wont complain.
My spirit is unconquerable.
Fearless I will face each foe for I know I am capable.
I don't care whats probable,
through blood sweat and tears I am unstoppable.
-Anthony Robles
Sunday, March 25, 2012
The Healthy Mind Platter
The Healthy Mind Platter was created in collaboration by Dr. David Rock , executive director of the NeuroLeadership Institute and Dr. Daniel Siegel , executive director of the Mindsight Institute and clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine. The Healthy Mind Platter has seven essential mental activities necessary for optimum mental health in daily life. These seven daily activities make up the full set of ‘mental nutrients' that your brain needs to function at it's best. By engaging every day in each of these servings, you enable your brain to coordinate and balance its activities, which strengthens your brain's internal connections and your connections with other people.
Learn more at http://www.healthymindplatter.com/
dm
Monday, March 19, 2012
Speak Gooder
I drive my children crazy trying to get them to speak better. We are from Oklahoma and are surrounded by southern accents and poor examples of proper grammar. My mission of having children that speak properly is an uphill battle. Especially since they find joy in teasing me.My oldest son has called his friend, Kyle, mean as long as I can reminder. It started around kindergarten. "Me and Kyle are going to play basketball." I would reply. "Kyle's not mean." It was funny the first 5,000 times. Chase and Kyle are both driving now and apparently Kyle is still mean. The grammar problem has not been resolved.
My youngest son particularly delights in tormenting me. "Dad, I'm fixun tuh take thu dawg out." I will repeat it back exactly as he said it and he realizes what he did. He then laughs and says it even harder as he takes thu dawg out.
For us to improve in our speech we must:
1. Be aware there is a problem.
2. Care about the problem.
3. Wish to improve the problem.
4. Take steps to solve specific problems. (You can't solve all of them at once.)
5. Practice practice practice.
6. Have a speech accountability partner.
7. Take pride in your improvement.
8. Continue to improve!
Maybe someday my children will learn the value of speaking well. Or as Lemony Snicket said, "If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf. "
dm
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Balancing Confidence and Humility
Some people have confidence. Others have humility. Don't you love those people who have both? Confidence without humility can come across as arrogance. Humility without confidence can come across as weakness.
Both confidence and humility have internal and external components to them.
Confidence
- The internal element of confidence is created by acquiring knowledge, skills and abilities through education and experience. You feel confident because you know what you are talking about. You have been there, done that and bought the t-shirt.
- The external element of confidence can be genuine or faked (for a while). It is the way you carry yourself. You present an image of confidence. You walk with your head up, look people in the eye, speak clearly and articulately. You shake hands firmly. If you do not naturally have this type of personality, you can practice and learn. You do not have to become an extrovert, but you can act with confidence when needed.
Humility
- The internal element of humility is a genuine belief that no matter how skilled or knowledgeable you are, you are not more important than any other human. You genuinely believe that every person has value.
- The external element of humility can also be genuine or faked (for a while). You treat people with dignity, value and respect. You use your manners. You treat people not only the way you would want to be treated but the way they want to be treated. You show interest in others. You share credit for successes and take the blame for failures. This does not mean you do not hold people accountable but it does mean you do not throw people under the bus. Humility means people are not afraid or annoyed to be around you.
Balancing confidence and humility is important to your relationships and career. To lean too far to either side can leave others with a negative perception about you.
dm
Thursday, March 1, 2012
The Eight Most Important Decisions You Will Ever Make
We make thousands of decisions regularly. Some we make by rote actions of repetition. Others we make after complex deliberation. There are eight meta-decisions we make, however, that are the most critical to our lives and sometimes we may not even be aware we are making them. The way these commitments are worded below are written to allow for a wide range of decisions within the first three. The other five are commitments that you have either made or not made. How those commitments are carried out can vary greatly.
The Eight Decisions
1. Theological Framework
Whether deeply studied or inherited from culture, your decision to believe facts about the existence or non-existence of a supreme deity, group of deities, or flying spaghetti monster, and all of the accompanying beliefs that attach themselves to such a worldview, create a framework for the way you see everything that happens and for what you believe about the universe, humankind, and the past, present and future of all that exists. Your decision on theology reigns at the top of the decision heap whether you like it or not.
2. Political Framework.
Your decisions here go so far beyond who you are going to vote for. They are more relevant to whether you can pass a citizenship test and teach a civics course and a world history and economics class. This is a big world with a lot of views to consider from conservatism to liberalism to libertarianism, all the way to capitalism, socialism, communism, anarchy, republic, democracy and throw ten or twelve more in just get it up to something entertaining that we could show the members of the monarchy.
3. Financial Framework.
In this corner is Donald Trump and his opulent spending and commitment to debt and chapters with numbers after them. And in this corner is Dave Ramsey. wearing a modest suit and a bath robe for his boxing robe. Your decision is which side to cheer for? The high-dollar big spender we would all like to be, or the reasonably average Dave, who lives less excitingly now so he can live like nobody else can when he is older and Trump has to sell all of his assets to live in the new Ramsey Home for Elder Real Estate Moguls.
4. Commitment to Proactivity
When things happen to you, and they do, you have a choice. Stephen Covey calls the time in between the stimulus and the response the ability to choose.The longer the time, the more time you have to choose. Your decision at this time is to either respond in a reactive way, which is usually quick, negative, unfriendly, unhealthy, and memorable. Or we can choose to respond in a way that is helpful, encouraging, uplifting, constructive, meaningful, and inspiring. When we commit to proactivity we are committing to being in control of our own destiny, our own happiness, and our own mood.
5. Commitment to Self-Love
The longer I know people, and the more I know individuals in a close and personal way, I learn that there are almost always good and valid reasons for most people to have some sort of pain in their life or anger and resentment toward a family member or close personal friend. People experience abuse and trauma in their lives in many ways. The decision to deal with it, preferably with the help of professionals who can truly help, and to grow into a mature, fully functioning adult who is capable of loving themselves is a critical decision. This allows them to continue to grow as a person.
6. Commitment to Humanity
After learning to love yourself, you must make the decision to love others. It would be easier and more fun to pick and choose who we love. Some only want to love certain members of their family. Others only want to love those of the same race, or social class, or theological or political views. Or maybe those who share the love for the same sporting team. Something important! When we commit to the philosophy of Jackie Moon and say, "Everybody Love Everybody," we are there.
7. Commitment to Learning
The world is rapidly changing. What profession you go into is not nearly as important as the skill you develop to learn. The ability to learn is the key craft employers need in the future. If you can learn, adapt and apply knowledge, you will be marketable. Curiosity about many things will be advantageous but be sure to specialize in something and don't get out-of-date on your skills.
8. Commitment to Time Management
The greatest equalizer on the planet is that we all have 24 hours in a day. The same 24 hours, From billionaires to the slums. We are all equal. We can't say, "I don't have enough time." We are just using our time differently. Some have privileges that make it easier to use their time differently. Nonetheless, we can spend our time working, learning, loving, giving, sharing, caring, or wasting.
Now that you are aware you have eight, how will you make your decisions?
dm
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Don't Label Me
I did not really care about seeing him and did not know anything about him. He told about how he was raised in poverty and was told he would not be able to make it out of his neighborhood. He worked hard and went to college, then the Navy and was a successful businessman. Great for him!
Then of course he met a woman from Chicago who had a little tv show. Now people label him as Oprah's man. He told the audience not to let people label them. Not as someone who couldn't get out of poverty or as someone who is known for being with someone else, or for being labeled as anyone else.
Know who you are. Know who you want to be. Do what you do and be great at it. Don't worry about how other people label you. Just be great.
Amen Stedman. Amen.
dm
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Just One Thing
Focus.
I have spent much of my life trying to convince myself that I could be successful pursuing everything I enjoy. The older, and apparently wiser, I get the more I am aware of the truth I had always heard that you must focus on fewer things to be successful.
I used to think I would be the exception. I'm not. And neither are you.
This is not to mean you can only ever do one thing in life that you enjoy. What it does mean is that the more you focus on a singular thing, the better you will be at it and therefore you will develop a depth of knowledge and expertise that will not be matched by others who do not have the same level of commitment and experience.
Through focus you become an expert. By becoming an expert you become in demand. By becoming in demand you achieve more for yourself than by being everything to everybody, including yourself.
dm
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Is It Good or Bad?
Things happen.
We can never know for sure if they are good or bad. I love the story told in the movie Charlie Wilson's War:
Gust Avrakotos: There's a little boy and on his 14th birthday he gets a horse... and everybody in the village says, "How wonderful. The boy got a horse!" And the Zen master says, "We'll see." Two years later, the boy falls off the horse, breaks his leg, and everyone in the village says, "How terrible!" And the Zen master says, "We'll see." Then, a war breaks out and all the young men have to go off and fight... except the boy can't 'cause his legs all messed up. and everybody in the village says, "How wonderful."
Charlie Wilson: Now the Zen master says, "We'll see."
So how will 2012 be for you or me?
We'll see.
dm
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
You Are Failing For the Same Reason Congress Is Failing
If you are struggling you might check to see if you have the same symptoms of failure besetting Congress. We will use the current payroll tax cut debate as an example,Long Term Goals Conflict with Short Term Goals
For Congress the long term goal is to make the social security fund solvent. There should be enough money in it to pay people when they retire. For the last 10-20 years the debate has been how to add more money to the fund because there won't be enough money soon. Some options have been to raise the retirement age, lower benefit payments or raise the taxes going into the fund.
However, the short term goal is to get elected by either creating a small economic boost or at least appearing to give an economic boost by taking some of that retirement tax money and give it back to the tax payer. Of course, in doing so, they will not only be not helping the long term goal, they will be hurting it.
But to reach the short term goal they have to plunder the long term goal. My grandma called it "robbing Peter to pay Paul." Grandma also lived through the depression and did not count on social security.
How is your situation similar? I struggle with robbing from my future health to satisfy my current desires.
Congruence is when your values and behaviors align.
dm
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Anyway
Here is part of one of his recent blogposts. Amazing stuff:
To those who try to steal your joy, be happy anyway.
To those who try to edit your truth, be yourself anyway.
To those who try to thwart your voice, be heard anyway.
To those who try to crush your spirit, be buoyant anyway.
To those who try to change your spots, be original anyway.
To those who try to silence your courage, be risky anyway.
To those who try to merchandise your soul, be true anyway.
To those who try to erase your name, be remembered anyway.
To those who try to justify your success, be awesome anyway.
To those who try to hypnotize your vision, be focused anyway.
To those who try to lower your average, be exceptional anyway.
To those who try to improve your dreams, be committed anyway
To those who try to belittle your ambitions, be dedicated anyway.
To those who try to vandalize your constitution, be heartstrong anyway.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Managing Poor Performance
This post isn't really about football. It is about performance.
Today the kicker for the Pittsburgh Steelers, Jeff Reed, was told to clean out his locker. He got fired. Reed's performance has been pretty sub-par this season leaving points on the field.
Reed played eight seasons for the Steelers with a field goal percentage of 81.9%. Pretty dang good. It would have been better if the last two seasons were not included.
And that is why he was fired. His performance has been slipping. And in the world of professional sports, lack of performance is not tolerated.
1. You're fired.
The Trump model does happen. Some organizations take the attitude that if you do not perform you are out the door. Clean your locker.
2. Improvement Plan
In this model, managers attempt to identify the causes of low performance and help the employee correct the situation. An accountability plan that includes follow-up is put in place.
3. Ignore It
Many times the low performance is ignored because of appreciation for past service, or fear of reprisal, or a million other reasons. The bottom line is nothing gets fixed and the low performance continues.
4. The Shift
In this strategy, organizations move the low performer from department to department hoping that they will either magically improve or some other manager will figure out how to fix them.
5. The Push
Finally, the employee is nudged toward the door. The tactics may be kind or cold-hearted but the intention is clear. The employee may take the bait or stubbornly remain.
How does your organization treat low-performers? How do you as a leader handle low-performers? What strategies do you suggest?
dm
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Lazy or Resting?
Nobody has an unlimited capacity for production.
In our lives, in our careers, and in our days, we have a natural arc to the amount of output we can create until that output begins to diminish in quality. At some point we must refresh, renew and recharge.
So how can you know if you are resting or being lazy?
Here are some indicators for each:
You might be resting if:
- You feel a sense of tired accomplishment
- You feel sick
- You are allowing yourself to destress
- You are socializing with friends
- Others are telling you to take a break
You might be acting lazy if:
- You are avoiding obligations
- You feel guilty about your break
- You are pushing a deadline
- Others are telling you to get busy
These lists are not quite perfect because a workaholic can look at the first list and work through any of those reasons even when they should be resting. A lazy person could look at list two and rationalize away any of those reasons even though they should be getting to work.
But we should always remember that there is a time to work and a time to rest. Recognize the difference.
dm
Thoughts? Examples?
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Can You Teach To Care?
The president of my company and I have an on-going friendly feud. The topic is over whether or not you can teach someone to care.
He says you cannot because it is innate. People either care or they do not.
He is winning the feud because of the nature of his position. He will be making a speech and talks about how “some in the training department think you can teach people to care but I don’t think so because…” blah blah blah. I never get a chance to rebut. He is clever that way. That’s why he is the president and I am a lowly trainer. (Well, that and the fact that he is imminently qualified.)
So I will use my lofty platform here to make my case.
1. Training is done in three areas; attitude, skills and knowledge. Caring is an attitude so you can train for it.
2. We teach our children to care. It is a value we instill as we parent them. If you can’t teach someone to care we would not be able to do this.
3. Where I think we may agree is that while we may be able to teach people to care (in general), we may not be able to convince them to care about the same things we care about. People care about things for self-interested reasons. The difficulty (or impossibility) is to get them to care about what I care about. I do not claim that this is always possible.
So how do you teach people to care?
Let’s use the acronym C.A.R.E. (in no particular order):
C – Connect to their experiences and motives
In training we talk about WIIFM (What’s In It For Me). You will need to show the individual that there is a personal reason for them to be concerned. If there is no reason for them to care you can bet they won’t. The fact that you care is not enough of a reason. The fact that they get paid to care will only be a reason if they feel a high enough risk that they cannot find satisfactory employment elsewhere.
A – Awareness of the situation
Many people are unaware of the reasons to care. They are unaware of their connections to the motives and their own experiences that give them reasons to care. If you are going to teach them to care you must raise their awareness level.
R – Respond to the situation
To teach someone to care means you show them how to respond. Awareness is not enough. If I am aware of a need but do not move to meet the need I really do not care. The act of caring comes through the behavior. The behavior may only be sitting silently with a friend in need or letting someone know they are in your thoughts and prayers. Or the behavior may be spending your money to help a charity or using your time to service a client. The caring is in the response.
E – Empathize with the person
Empathy is the intellectual identification with the thoughts or feelings of a person. This is different from sympathy which is being in harmony with the thoughts or feelings of a person. You do not have to agree to empathize. But it does mean you try to put yourself in their shoes so to speak. You try to feel what they feel. To teach someone to care you will want to raise their Emotional Intelligence so that they are more in tune to the thoughts and feelings of people around them. Help them become aware that “I” am not the center of the universe.
By doing these things we can teach others to care. And we should. We don’t teach people to care about jobs. We show people how their job impacts people and we teach people to care about people.
As poet Maya Angelou said, “If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.”
dm
Thoughts? Examples?
Monday, September 27, 2010
Power Nap
- Prime nap time is 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. That minidip in energy you experience is biological, not because you just ate lunch, Mednick says.
- Sleep has three stages:
- Stage 2 Sleep. Within 20 minutes, you experience "Stage 2" sleep, which increases alertness and motor skills.
- Slow Wave Sleep. Within 40 minutes, you'll experience slow wave sleep, which increases memory.
- REM Sleep. This is deep sleep you'll get if you nap for up to 90 minutes, and it increases creativity.
- Low light and low noise will help you fall asleep faster.
- Studies show that naps up to 90 minutes won't interfere with your sleep at night, so don't sleep too long. And don't nap within three hours of bedtime.
dm
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Categories of Right and Wrong
Category: Mind, HeartWe all have to interact with other people. When coming to agreements and consensus we have to determine if what the other person (or people) is saying is right or wrong.
This is how conflicts start.
You say tomato. I say tomato. (Wait-that doesn’t work in print.) Anyway-you get the point. People have disagreements. The important thing is to decide when to fight for your point of view and how hard to press.
A quick way to determine how hard to press your point of view is to categorize the discussion.
1. Personal Preference
Some discussions are a matter of taste. Some like blue over red. Some like chocolate over vanilla. Some like one restaurant over another. Since most people are not willing to fight for their point-of-view, this is why it takes so long for a group of people to decide at which restaurant they will dine. However, if you have someone is always willing to make the decision others are marginalized and never get to choose.
2. Pass/Fail
Light switches are on or off. They work or they do not. Sometimes the answer is simple over what is right. 2+2=4. It just does. People love to say there is not always a right answer because it sounds so nice. But it’s also not true.
See?
When a decision is pass/fail you probably want to press your view point if you believe your view point will prevent a fail. Especially when the fail is a matter of critical importance. Even more so if it is of life or death.
3. Which is Better?
WIB is not the same as Personal Preference. PP says it doesn’t matter. In WIB we are saying that there is a better way to do something but it doesn’t mean the other way will not work at all (pass/fail). Which sales method will bring in the most sales? Which example will reach the most listeners? Which graphic will best convey the message?
We spend most of our conflicts in WIB. However, we act like we are in Pass/Fail. Learning when and how to press our viewpoint is a great art and skill. It is also important to learn to listen to others and recognize that maybe…just maybe, our way is not always the better way.
dm
Monday, September 13, 2010
Speak Gooder
Category: Mind
I am working on a book titled How To Speak Gooder.
Quite honestly, public speaking is the thing I do best. I have been speaking for about 25 years in almost every environment imaginable. I decided to write down what I have learned because there are still a lot of speakers out their who are terrible. They need my help.
In the meantime, I have added a new twitter account @speakgooder. Follow me there for strictly speaking and presentation related info.
dm
I am working on a book titled How To Speak Gooder.
In the meantime, I have added a new twitter account @speakgooder. Follow me there for strictly speaking and presentation related info.
dm
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Instead of Complaining...
Category: Heart, Mind
Honestly? I am a complainer at heart.
I am actually a very positive person. I am just also a very verbal person. If something annoys me I verbalize it. It doesn't mean that I won't be over it five seconds from now, I just want everyone to know that I am annoyed right now.
I slowly am learning that (a) people don't care about what I am complaining about and (b) they don't realize that I don't think it is as big a deal as it sounds like when I am complaining.
Complaining seems to be a part of our society. Try a complaint fast and you will see how hard it is not to complain about anything.
Complaining occurs when there is a desired condition that differs from the current condition. During the gap between the desired and current condition there are three potential responses:
1. The complaint.
Just don't.
2. The solution.
Instead of complaining, offer a plan for moving from the current condition to the desired condition. Be sure that you are an active participant in the gameplan or nobody will listen. Nobody cares that you have a plan for their life.
3. The duck-tape.
Just slap some over your mouth and keep quiet. Ignore the desired state. Deal with the current state. If you can't offer a constructive solution just keep your trap shut.
Now, where is my tape?
dm
Thoughts? Examples?
Honestly? I am a complainer at heart.
I am actually a very positive person. I am just also a very verbal person. If something annoys me I verbalize it. It doesn't mean that I won't be over it five seconds from now, I just want everyone to know that I am annoyed right now.
I slowly am learning that (a) people don't care about what I am complaining about and (b) they don't realize that I don't think it is as big a deal as it sounds like when I am complaining.
Complaining seems to be a part of our society. Try a complaint fast and you will see how hard it is not to complain about anything.
Complaining occurs when there is a desired condition that differs from the current condition. During the gap between the desired and current condition there are three potential responses:
1. The complaint.
Just don't.
2. The solution.
Instead of complaining, offer a plan for moving from the current condition to the desired condition. Be sure that you are an active participant in the gameplan or nobody will listen. Nobody cares that you have a plan for their life.
3. The duck-tape.
Just slap some over your mouth and keep quiet. Ignore the desired state. Deal with the current state. If you can't offer a constructive solution just keep your trap shut.
Now, where is my tape?
dm
Thoughts? Examples?
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Check Your Sources or Look Like A Fool
Category: Mind, Heart
The core issue is trust.
Do people trust you you when you speak? Do people groan when they get an email (or tweet) from you that some ominous event is about to happen and all the facts are included right here?
Check your sources.
Will a frog really stay in a pot of water and die if the heat is slowly turned up to boiling? (No.)
Is President Obama really passing a law that you cannot sell your home without getting a license after making environmental upgrades? (No.)
Did Albert Einstein really say that compound interest is the most powerful force on earth? (Nobody can find a source where he said it.)
The point is you need to check your sources.
There is a news story today where even the POTUS had a new carpet installed in the oval office and a quote attributed to Dr. Martin Luther King was actually said by Theodore Parker. I don't blame the President, by the way. Surely, he has people to check these things.
But the point is that people don't check these things and end up looking ignorant when the facts come out.
If you want to maintain your credibility...check your sources.
dm
Thoughts? Examples?
The core issue is trust.
Do people trust you you when you speak? Do people groan when they get an email (or tweet) from you that some ominous event is about to happen and all the facts are included right here?
Check your sources.
Will a frog really stay in a pot of water and die if the heat is slowly turned up to boiling? (No.)
Is President Obama really passing a law that you cannot sell your home without getting a license after making environmental upgrades? (No.)
Did Albert Einstein really say that compound interest is the most powerful force on earth? (Nobody can find a source where he said it.)
The point is you need to check your sources.
There is a news story today where even the POTUS had a new carpet installed in the oval office and a quote attributed to Dr. Martin Luther King was actually said by Theodore Parker. I don't blame the President, by the way. Surely, he has people to check these things.
But the point is that people don't check these things and end up looking ignorant when the facts come out.
If you want to maintain your credibility...check your sources.
dm
Thoughts? Examples?
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
If You're Gonna Do It...Smile
Category: Mind, Heart
I listened to a keynote address today by Dr. Lee Manzer, a professor from Oklahoma State University. He made a brilliant point that applies to business and relationships.
Once you agree to do something, do it cheerfully. Otherwise, you will never receive credit for it.
Example, if a customer has to drag the response they want out of you, they do not talk about how great you were. They talk about how hard it was to get what they wanted...even though they got what they wanted.
Another example, if your spouse asks you to go to the store to get something when you are tired, once you realize you are going to do it, do not gripe and complain about it-just outwardly happily go do it. Otherwise, your spouse will never really be happy that you did it. They will feel like you did it because you were forced to.
Now in both examples, the fact is you did something you really did not want to do. But because you made a mental decision to give the other party what they wanted, the only smart thing to do is to give it to them with a good attitude or they will never give you credit for the action.
Either do not agree to do it, or do it with a smile!
dm
Thoughts? Examples?
I listened to a keynote address today by Dr. Lee Manzer, a professor from Oklahoma State University. He made a brilliant point that applies to business and relationships.
Once you agree to do something, do it cheerfully. Otherwise, you will never receive credit for it.
Example, if a customer has to drag the response they want out of you, they do not talk about how great you were. They talk about how hard it was to get what they wanted...even though they got what they wanted.
Another example, if your spouse asks you to go to the store to get something when you are tired, once you realize you are going to do it, do not gripe and complain about it-just outwardly happily go do it. Otherwise, your spouse will never really be happy that you did it. They will feel like you did it because you were forced to.
Now in both examples, the fact is you did something you really did not want to do. But because you made a mental decision to give the other party what they wanted, the only smart thing to do is to give it to them with a good attitude or they will never give you credit for the action.
Either do not agree to do it, or do it with a smile!
dm
Thoughts? Examples?
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Confessions of A Bad Dresser
Category: Mind
I used to dress like a slob.
It would be nice if people didn't judge by appearances but they do, so I quit.
Here are some reasons you should consider dressing better:
- People evaluate you based on how you look, like it or not.
- You say you don't care what people think then complain when things don't go your way.
- Your spouse/friends/parents/employees/co-workers/subordinates/superiors are embarrassed when they have to introduce you and tell people they are affiliated with you.
- Your spouse/friends/parents/employees/co-workers/subordinates/superiors will never admit they are embarrassed by you.
Here are some things to consider to help improve your look:
- Iron it.
- If it is vulgar don't wear it.
- You can be casual at the right times without being sloppy.
- The heavier you are the harder it is to look good. Dress even nicer.
- The worse your hair is the harder it is to look good. Dress even nicer. And do something with your hair.
- Wear current styles but not overly trendy. People take pictures you will look at ten years from now.
- If in doubt dress nicer than you are thinking.
- If you are not tattooed or pierced, don't. If you are, think about how it looks and how it will be perceived. As Joe Perry of Aerosmith says, "Never get a tattoo you can't cover up for the judge."
Again...It would be nice if people didn't judge by appearances but they do. I don't make the rules, I'm just letting you know how they work.
dm
Thoughts? Examples?
I used to dress like a slob.
It would be nice if people didn't judge by appearances but they do, so I quit.
Here are some reasons you should consider dressing better:
- People evaluate you based on how you look, like it or not.
- You say you don't care what people think then complain when things don't go your way.
- Your spouse/friends/parents/employees/co-workers/subordinates/superiors are embarrassed when they have to introduce you and tell people they are affiliated with you.
- Your spouse/friends/parents/employees/co-workers/subordinates/superiors will never admit they are embarrassed by you.
Here are some things to consider to help improve your look:
- Iron it.
- If it is vulgar don't wear it.
- You can be casual at the right times without being sloppy.
- The heavier you are the harder it is to look good. Dress even nicer.
- The worse your hair is the harder it is to look good. Dress even nicer. And do something with your hair.
- Wear current styles but not overly trendy. People take pictures you will look at ten years from now.
- If in doubt dress nicer than you are thinking.
- If you are not tattooed or pierced, don't. If you are, think about how it looks and how it will be perceived. As Joe Perry of Aerosmith says, "Never get a tattoo you can't cover up for the judge."
Again...It would be nice if people didn't judge by appearances but they do. I don't make the rules, I'm just letting you know how they work.
dm
Thoughts? Examples?
Friday, August 27, 2010
New Car Smell
Category: Body
"...happy birthday to you!" the crowd finishes singing as you blow out all sixteen candles.
Your parents approach as your heart begins to quicken.
Will they?
Your mother hands you a small box and says, "Go ahead...open it."
You open the box and see the single silver key with the black top and the Mercedes logo. You must be dreaming. There is no possible way your parents can afford this.
Your father smiles and tells you to look in the driveway. You see a brand new Mercedes with a large gift bow on top. You look back at your parents with a stunned look on your face.
Your mother says, "There is one condition."
You knew it was too good to be true.
Your father continues...
"This is the only car you will ever have. Ever. You can never trade it in. You can never sell it. You can never drive another. This is it. Your only car ever."
You think about it for a moment, but you think about the fact that these cars are made well. If you take good care of it you can make it last your entire life.
You accept.
How well would you maintain your only car?
Would you take it in for regular maintenance? Would you use the best motor oil? The best mechanic? Would you spring for premium fuel?
How well do you care for your body?
dm
Thoughts?
"...happy birthday to you!" the crowd finishes singing as you blow out all sixteen candles.
Your parents approach as your heart begins to quicken.
Will they?
Your mother hands you a small box and says, "Go ahead...open it."
You open the box and see the single silver key with the black top and the Mercedes logo. You must be dreaming. There is no possible way your parents can afford this.
Your father smiles and tells you to look in the driveway. You see a brand new Mercedes with a large gift bow on top. You look back at your parents with a stunned look on your face.
Your mother says, "There is one condition."
You knew it was too good to be true.
Your father continues...
"This is the only car you will ever have. Ever. You can never trade it in. You can never sell it. You can never drive another. This is it. Your only car ever."
You think about it for a moment, but you think about the fact that these cars are made well. If you take good care of it you can make it last your entire life.
You accept.
How well would you maintain your only car?
Would you take it in for regular maintenance? Would you use the best motor oil? The best mechanic? Would you spring for premium fuel?
How well do you care for your body?
dm
Thoughts?
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Be A Zebra
Category: Mind
You are in the middle of nowhere. Nothing but prairie surrounds you with patches of trees here and there. From over the hill you see a cloud of dust and you begin to hear what sounds like thunder.
As the sound gets closer you realize it is hoofbeats. A familiar sound. Large animals. Powerful. Graceful. You have heard these hoofbeats of horses before.
They get louder and louder.
As they begin to pour over the hill you are shocked.
These horses are black with white stripes. Or are they white with black stripes? They are beautiful. Strange. Unique. Something extra.
Not what you expected.
As you go through life people see you coming. They hear your name or they know your type. They know your job description or your company or industry. They know what to expect.
Be a zebra.
dm
Thoughts? Examples?
You are in the middle of nowhere. Nothing but prairie surrounds you with patches of trees here and there. From over the hill you see a cloud of dust and you begin to hear what sounds like thunder.
As the sound gets closer you realize it is hoofbeats. A familiar sound. Large animals. Powerful. Graceful. You have heard these hoofbeats of horses before.
They get louder and louder.
As they begin to pour over the hill you are shocked.
These horses are black with white stripes. Or are they white with black stripes? They are beautiful. Strange. Unique. Something extra.
Not what you expected.
As you go through life people see you coming. They hear your name or they know your type. They know your job description or your company or industry. They know what to expect.
Be a zebra.
dm
Thoughts? Examples?
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Communication Breakdown, Part 2
Category: Mind, Heart
In the last post I discussed the types of communication breakdowns. In this post I want to examine the reasons for breakdowns in communication and ways to avoid them.
1. Lack of Awareness
Sometimes we are unaware that communication needs to occur. Maybe we think everything is and will continue to be okay. Without communication a breakdown is guaranteed.
We prevent this breakdown by paying attention to others and listening to what others are thinking. By not being so narcissistic we are aware of what is going on around us.
2. Lack of Concern/Interest/Respect
Some people do not communicate because they do not want to.
We prevent this breakdown by helping them understand that there is plenty of abundance to go around and that it is to their own benefit to open up and let the world in.
3. Lack of Skills
Some people do not communicate because they are bad at it. They just do not know how to get from idea to expression.
We prevent this breakdown by training them in communication techniques, giving them opportunities to practice, and allowing them extra time to formulate their communication.
4. Lack of Clarity/Specificity
Many times breakdowns occur because each side thinks they understand what the other is saying when they do not.
This breakdown can be prevented by taking more time to listen to each other, repeating what we think we hear, and when necessary putting our understanding in writing.
5. Lack of Forethought
Breakdowns occur when we do not think ahead. We should always think about how our actions and decisions will affect people and processes down the road or downline.
This breakdown is prevented when we learn about others and ask questions.
6. Lack of Follow-Up
Sometimes you do everything right. You just do not check back in to see if it is still right.
We prevent this by setting up a time to check in and then checking in. Follow up has to be intentional or it will not happen.
By being aware of the causes of communication breakdowns and how we can prevent them we can begin to identify and repair the breakdowns in our own lives.
How serious are the communication breakdowns you experience?
dm
In the last post I discussed the types of communication breakdowns. In this post I want to examine the reasons for breakdowns in communication and ways to avoid them.
1. Lack of Awareness
Sometimes we are unaware that communication needs to occur. Maybe we think everything is and will continue to be okay. Without communication a breakdown is guaranteed.
We prevent this breakdown by paying attention to others and listening to what others are thinking. By not being so narcissistic we are aware of what is going on around us.
2. Lack of Concern/Interest/Respect
Some people do not communicate because they do not want to.
We prevent this breakdown by helping them understand that there is plenty of abundance to go around and that it is to their own benefit to open up and let the world in.
3. Lack of Skills
Some people do not communicate because they are bad at it. They just do not know how to get from idea to expression.
We prevent this breakdown by training them in communication techniques, giving them opportunities to practice, and allowing them extra time to formulate their communication.
4. Lack of Clarity/Specificity
Many times breakdowns occur because each side thinks they understand what the other is saying when they do not.
This breakdown can be prevented by taking more time to listen to each other, repeating what we think we hear, and when necessary putting our understanding in writing.
5. Lack of Forethought
Breakdowns occur when we do not think ahead. We should always think about how our actions and decisions will affect people and processes down the road or downline.
This breakdown is prevented when we learn about others and ask questions.
6. Lack of Follow-Up
Sometimes you do everything right. You just do not check back in to see if it is still right.
We prevent this by setting up a time to check in and then checking in. Follow up has to be intentional or it will not happen.
By being aware of the causes of communication breakdowns and how we can prevent them we can begin to identify and repair the breakdowns in our own lives.
How serious are the communication breakdowns you experience?
dm
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Communication Breakdown, Part 1
Category: Mind, Heart
A fellow Led Zeppelin fan and I were discussing an event that happened at work recently when she said, “Just another communication breakdown.” She knew I would pick up on the Zep reference.
Communication is a two-way street of telling and listening, giving and receiving. Unfortunately, breakdowns in communication are common. In the first part of this series on Communication Breakdowns we will examine the types of breakdowns.
Six Common Types of Communication Breakdowns:
1. Unplugged
This is a total disconnect in communication. It never happens. Someone has information but for whatever reason never gives it to the other party. The breakdown is that there is no communication at all.
2. Distortion
This breakdown occurs when there is so much noise the message doesn’t get through to the intended party. This could happen because the recipient is overwhelmed with messages and doesn’t notice the communication or the recipient is stressed and only receives part of the message or an incorrect version of the message. This breakdown occurs because of external circumstances interfering with the message.
3. Bad Charts
No band can play together when the music charts are wrong. Breakdowns occur when communication attempts are confusing or incorrect. If someone does not speak well or listen well it corrupts communication. If fonts are difficult to read it corrupts communication. If contracts or speeches are given in legalese or technical jargon that nobody understands they become pointless. This breakdown occurs because the communication does not compute with the recipient.
4. Cult of Personality
Sometimes communication breaks down because people have different personality types or different communication styles. They are attempting to communicate but they are unable to relate to each other. They are not using the same words or symbols. Or the words or symbols they are using are not interpreted the same way. The breakdown occurs almost like a language barrier.
5. LSD
No, not the drug. This refers to Lead Singers Disease. Eddie Van Halen uses the term to refer to his ongoing feuds with the various lead singers of his band, Van Halen. He always blames it on them. They always blame it on him. This breakdown is often the same as Number 4 but on steroids. It is when things have completely melted down into a he said/she said situation. Nobody can agree on who said what. The breakdown is that either people remember things completely differently or participants are being stubborn, or both.
6. Second Law of Thermodynamics
The prior points were semi-music related but with the Second Law of Thermodynamics we would not be surprised to go off-track from that. That is because it says that the universe tends to go from order to disorder. Things get messier over time. In communication this occurs because the message gets changed over time and distance. As it moves along from person to person it morphs into something that no longer resembles the original message. Or it can be simpler. I have a thought. I speak the thought but it is not how I was thinking it. Or I type the thought but you don’t read it with the same tone I meant it. The breakdown occurs because the message deteriorates.
In the next post I will give my thoughts on the causes of communication breakdowns. I will also give some methods of preventing communication breakdowns. In the meantime, go jam to some Zeppelin.
What other communication breakdowns do you experience?
dm
A fellow Led Zeppelin fan and I were discussing an event that happened at work recently when she said, “Just another communication breakdown.” She knew I would pick up on the Zep reference.
Communication is a two-way street of telling and listening, giving and receiving. Unfortunately, breakdowns in communication are common. In the first part of this series on Communication Breakdowns we will examine the types of breakdowns.
Six Common Types of Communication Breakdowns:
1. Unplugged
This is a total disconnect in communication. It never happens. Someone has information but for whatever reason never gives it to the other party. The breakdown is that there is no communication at all.
2. Distortion
This breakdown occurs when there is so much noise the message doesn’t get through to the intended party. This could happen because the recipient is overwhelmed with messages and doesn’t notice the communication or the recipient is stressed and only receives part of the message or an incorrect version of the message. This breakdown occurs because of external circumstances interfering with the message.
3. Bad Charts
No band can play together when the music charts are wrong. Breakdowns occur when communication attempts are confusing or incorrect. If someone does not speak well or listen well it corrupts communication. If fonts are difficult to read it corrupts communication. If contracts or speeches are given in legalese or technical jargon that nobody understands they become pointless. This breakdown occurs because the communication does not compute with the recipient.
4. Cult of Personality
Sometimes communication breaks down because people have different personality types or different communication styles. They are attempting to communicate but they are unable to relate to each other. They are not using the same words or symbols. Or the words or symbols they are using are not interpreted the same way. The breakdown occurs almost like a language barrier.
5. LSD
No, not the drug. This refers to Lead Singers Disease. Eddie Van Halen uses the term to refer to his ongoing feuds with the various lead singers of his band, Van Halen. He always blames it on them. They always blame it on him. This breakdown is often the same as Number 4 but on steroids. It is when things have completely melted down into a he said/she said situation. Nobody can agree on who said what. The breakdown is that either people remember things completely differently or participants are being stubborn, or both.
6. Second Law of Thermodynamics
The prior points were semi-music related but with the Second Law of Thermodynamics we would not be surprised to go off-track from that. That is because it says that the universe tends to go from order to disorder. Things get messier over time. In communication this occurs because the message gets changed over time and distance. As it moves along from person to person it morphs into something that no longer resembles the original message. Or it can be simpler. I have a thought. I speak the thought but it is not how I was thinking it. Or I type the thought but you don’t read it with the same tone I meant it. The breakdown occurs because the message deteriorates.
In the next post I will give my thoughts on the causes of communication breakdowns. I will also give some methods of preventing communication breakdowns. In the meantime, go jam to some Zeppelin.
What other communication breakdowns do you experience?
dm
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Making Brilliant Decisions On Time Every Time
Category: Mind
I have made some terrible decisions in my life. When I was younger I thought I had it all figured out. I wish that guy knew half as much as he thought he did.
As I have matured (lost my hair) I have learned how to make better decisions. I was largely forced into making better decisions because the older I have gotten the decisions have become more important and there are more people who rely on the ramifications of my decisions.
So what are the elements of a good decision?
1. Experience
Most choices we have to make are not original. Somebody has had to make that decision before. The circumstances may not be exactly the same but you can probably find someone with some kind of experience in the area you are dealing with. You also have developed your own experience over time. Don’t ignore that. Gather all the experience you can and process that.
2. Data
The more information you have the better decision you can make. Imagine you are a military General. The more information you have about your enemy as well as your own troops the better. Imagine you are a doctor. The more information you have about the patient’s current condition, medical history and current technological capabilities the better. The examples are endless. Get all the data you can process.
3. Trusted Advisors
Gather people around you that you trust who can help you process all of this information. They may see things that you miss or have other perspectives and knowledge that you lack. Surround yourself with people who have your best interest in mind.
4. Time
Never rush important decisions. Don’t buy into the “this weekend only” sales hype or any other technique used to pressure you into making a hasty decision. Quick decisions are reserved exclusively for emergencies like getting out of buildings that are on fire or decisions that are not that important. While it is possible to be paralyzed by analysis, many times we make the opposite error. Eventually you have to pull the trigger but don’t shoot the wrong person.
5. Gut Check
Always ask yourself if your Grandma would be okay with this decision. Unless, of course, your Grandma spent her days in an asylum. Many times we know what we should do but we are trying to figure out a good reason to do something stupid. Always ask if this decision meets the common sense test.
Finally, once a decision has been made, don’t live in the past. It is reasonable to admit a decision was a mistake. It is wise to adjust course and change paths. But don’t dwell on past mistakes and wallow in self-pity and regret. Don’t let people ridicule you or talk down about you. Pick yourself up and fail forward. We learn best by doing and failing.
How do you make important decisions?
dm
I have made some terrible decisions in my life. When I was younger I thought I had it all figured out. I wish that guy knew half as much as he thought he did.
As I have matured (lost my hair) I have learned how to make better decisions. I was largely forced into making better decisions because the older I have gotten the decisions have become more important and there are more people who rely on the ramifications of my decisions.
So what are the elements of a good decision?
1. Experience
Most choices we have to make are not original. Somebody has had to make that decision before. The circumstances may not be exactly the same but you can probably find someone with some kind of experience in the area you are dealing with. You also have developed your own experience over time. Don’t ignore that. Gather all the experience you can and process that.
2. Data
The more information you have the better decision you can make. Imagine you are a military General. The more information you have about your enemy as well as your own troops the better. Imagine you are a doctor. The more information you have about the patient’s current condition, medical history and current technological capabilities the better. The examples are endless. Get all the data you can process.
3. Trusted Advisors
Gather people around you that you trust who can help you process all of this information. They may see things that you miss or have other perspectives and knowledge that you lack. Surround yourself with people who have your best interest in mind.
4. Time
Never rush important decisions. Don’t buy into the “this weekend only” sales hype or any other technique used to pressure you into making a hasty decision. Quick decisions are reserved exclusively for emergencies like getting out of buildings that are on fire or decisions that are not that important. While it is possible to be paralyzed by analysis, many times we make the opposite error. Eventually you have to pull the trigger but don’t shoot the wrong person.
5. Gut Check
Always ask yourself if your Grandma would be okay with this decision. Unless, of course, your Grandma spent her days in an asylum. Many times we know what we should do but we are trying to figure out a good reason to do something stupid. Always ask if this decision meets the common sense test.
Finally, once a decision has been made, don’t live in the past. It is reasonable to admit a decision was a mistake. It is wise to adjust course and change paths. But don’t dwell on past mistakes and wallow in self-pity and regret. Don’t let people ridicule you or talk down about you. Pick yourself up and fail forward. We learn best by doing and failing.
How do you make important decisions?
dm
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
"Have You Ever Been Arrested?" Is A Relevant Question
Category: Mind
Whether you have or haven't, the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" has relevance to your life. I'm not talking about about job applications, credit approvals or marriage proposals.
When I had neck surgery I started watching COPS on television. I had never watched the show before and I found it fascinating. My older brother is a deputy sheriff so it gave me a little insight into his life, but it also shows me this whole other world I know nothing about. I also realize I could never be a cop. I do not have the patience to tell someone to do something thirty times without shooting them in the face.
What is most fascinating though is observing all the little mind-tricks the officers play on their suspects. One of them is a common question they ask, "Have you ever been arrested?"
It usually goes something like this:
Officer: Have you ever been arrested?
Suspect: Yes.
Officer: For what?
Suspect: Possession.
Officer: How many times?
Suspect: Just four.
Officer: When was the last time?
Suspect: Uh...about a month ago.
Officer: Is this your crack pipe in your car?
Suspect: No man, that's not mine. I don't know how that got there.
You see how great the question is? By admitting to me your prior history (which you might as well do because I am going to check your i.d. anyway) you just made it perfectly plausible to me that this is in fact your crack pipe. Now if you have a clean record, I might be more willing to listen to your UFO story. But for now I am assuming this is yours.
So...what does this have to do with you? Or me? We are also people with a past.
Three things your record (history) says about you:
1. What you have done is probably what you will do.
Habits are powerful things. In the nature vs. nurture argument, they both come in to play here to create the person you are. And you are likely to continue being that person.
2. What you have done is going to bring a particular result.
Positive behavior brings positive results. Negative behavior brings negative results. There are bumps in the road of life. Random things happen to everyone. But generally speaking, 97 times out of 100, hard work and good behavior pay off.
3. What you have done does not have to be your future.
If you have a difficult past full of pain and/or failure, that does not have to be your destiny. It is difficult to change but it is possible. Surround yourself with the tools and support you need and you can do it. On the other hand, just because you may have had things go well for you, it does not mean things always will. Be diligent and vigilant or you can lose what you have in an instant.
How has your past shaped your future?
dm
Whether you have or haven't, the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" has relevance to your life. I'm not talking about about job applications, credit approvals or marriage proposals.
When I had neck surgery I started watching COPS on television. I had never watched the show before and I found it fascinating. My older brother is a deputy sheriff so it gave me a little insight into his life, but it also shows me this whole other world I know nothing about. I also realize I could never be a cop. I do not have the patience to tell someone to do something thirty times without shooting them in the face.
What is most fascinating though is observing all the little mind-tricks the officers play on their suspects. One of them is a common question they ask, "Have you ever been arrested?"
It usually goes something like this:
Officer: Have you ever been arrested?
Suspect: Yes.
Officer: For what?
Suspect: Possession.
Officer: How many times?
Suspect: Just four.
Officer: When was the last time?
Suspect: Uh...about a month ago.
Officer: Is this your crack pipe in your car?
Suspect: No man, that's not mine. I don't know how that got there.
You see how great the question is? By admitting to me your prior history (which you might as well do because I am going to check your i.d. anyway) you just made it perfectly plausible to me that this is in fact your crack pipe. Now if you have a clean record, I might be more willing to listen to your UFO story. But for now I am assuming this is yours.
So...what does this have to do with you? Or me? We are also people with a past.
Three things your record (history) says about you:
1. What you have done is probably what you will do.
Habits are powerful things. In the nature vs. nurture argument, they both come in to play here to create the person you are. And you are likely to continue being that person.
2. What you have done is going to bring a particular result.
Positive behavior brings positive results. Negative behavior brings negative results. There are bumps in the road of life. Random things happen to everyone. But generally speaking, 97 times out of 100, hard work and good behavior pay off.
3. What you have done does not have to be your future.
If you have a difficult past full of pain and/or failure, that does not have to be your destiny. It is difficult to change but it is possible. Surround yourself with the tools and support you need and you can do it. On the other hand, just because you may have had things go well for you, it does not mean things always will. Be diligent and vigilant or you can lose what you have in an instant.
How has your past shaped your future?
dm
Monday, July 5, 2010
My 100 All-Time Favorite Songs
Category: Personal
I doubt you care but...
I have long had my list of Top 20 favorite songs. Occasionally, but rarely, a song will slip into my top 20 which means another song has to drop out. Over the last few months I've been compiling my Top 100 songs. The top 75 or so were actually relatively easy. Those last 25 get a little more difficult because you start leaving some other songs out.
And remember, these are my favorite songs, not what I think are the best songs. I can't explain why Love Will Keep Us Together is in there. It is just a catchy pop tune with a great melody. But I don't think it's as good as Hey Jude.
Other songs are there just because the lyrics hit me at a particular time in my life, like It Takes A Little Time and Kiss Your Past Goodbye. Most of the songs just have a groove that grabs me like Peach, Good Times, and Baby Please Don't Go.
I also seem to have a strange connection to my birth year, 1968. Elvis' Comeback Special was incredible and he was at his peak, there were many other great songs released that year like Mony Mony, Do It Again and Back In The USSR.
I tried to find versions on YouTube of all the songs. I was mostly successful. Can't get hardly any Dylan tunes there so I had to go outside for one of those. Also couldn't find Badoom Badoom by Sam Harris but I did actually find a marching band performing the song...so enjoy.
Finally, I put my Top 20 in order, the rest are in alphabetical order because even I have a hard time ranking them consistently after the first twenty. I also like a lot of Christian songs but that is a different list for me. It just gets too complicated in my brain if I try to merge the lists.
If you want to know why a song is on the list just ask and I'll be happy to explain. And oh yeah, that;s right, I put my own group on there because I had to admit I liked our version of Route 66 the best. But I've never uploaded us to YouTube so you can watch Nat King Cole. If you click on the song title though you can have a free mp3 of us doing the song.
dm
I doubt you care but...
I have long had my list of Top 20 favorite songs. Occasionally, but rarely, a song will slip into my top 20 which means another song has to drop out. Over the last few months I've been compiling my Top 100 songs. The top 75 or so were actually relatively easy. Those last 25 get a little more difficult because you start leaving some other songs out.
And remember, these are my favorite songs, not what I think are the best songs. I can't explain why Love Will Keep Us Together is in there. It is just a catchy pop tune with a great melody. But I don't think it's as good as Hey Jude.
Other songs are there just because the lyrics hit me at a particular time in my life, like It Takes A Little Time and Kiss Your Past Goodbye. Most of the songs just have a groove that grabs me like Peach, Good Times, and Baby Please Don't Go.
I also seem to have a strange connection to my birth year, 1968. Elvis' Comeback Special was incredible and he was at his peak, there were many other great songs released that year like Mony Mony, Do It Again and Back In The USSR.
I tried to find versions on YouTube of all the songs. I was mostly successful. Can't get hardly any Dylan tunes there so I had to go outside for one of those. Also couldn't find Badoom Badoom by Sam Harris but I did actually find a marching band performing the song...so enjoy.
Finally, I put my Top 20 in order, the rest are in alphabetical order because even I have a hard time ranking them consistently after the first twenty. I also like a lot of Christian songs but that is a different list for me. It just gets too complicated in my brain if I try to merge the lists.
If you want to know why a song is on the list just ask and I'll be happy to explain. And oh yeah, that;s right, I put my own group on there because I had to admit I liked our version of Route 66 the best. But I've never uploaded us to YouTube so you can watch Nat King Cole. If you click on the song title though you can have a free mp3 of us doing the song.
dm
Do It Again-Beach Boys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQxdx-ScCvg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQxdx-ScCvg
Still Havent Found What Im Looking For-U2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzwR2TJFDA4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzwR2TJFDA4
Bridge of Spies-Tpau
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xoOHfhUTuI
Subterannean Homesick Blues-Bob Dylan
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2798x_bob-dylan-subterranean-homesick-blu_creation
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2798x_bob-dylan-subterranean-homesick-blu_creation
Youre So Beautiful-Def Leppard
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OfddBgnfI8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OfddBgnfI8
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