David B. McLaughlin

Just One Thing

2012-01-05T21:35:00.000-06:00

Focus.

I have spent much of my life trying to convince myself that I could be successful pursuing everything I enjoy. The older, and apparently wiser, I get the more I am aware of the truth I had always heard that you must focus on fewer things to be successful.

I used to think I would be the exception. I'm not. And neither are you.

This is not to mean you can only ever do one thing in life that you enjoy. What it does mean is that the more you focus on a singular thing, the better you will be at it and therefore you will develop a depth of knowledge and expertise that will not be matched by others who do not have the same level of commitment and experience.

Through focus you become an expert. By becoming an expert you become in demand. By becoming in demand you achieve more for yourself than by being everything to everybody, including yourself.

dm

Is It Good or Bad?

2011-12-31T22:06:00.001-06:00

Things happen.

We can never know for sure if they are good or bad. I love the story told in the movie Charlie Wilson's War:

Gust Avrakotos: There's a little boy and on his 14th birthday he gets a horse... and everybody in the village says, "How wonderful. The boy got a horse!" And the Zen master says, "We'll see." Two years later, the boy falls off the horse, breaks his leg, and everyone in the village says, "How terrible!" And the Zen master says, "We'll see." Then, a war breaks out and all the young men have to go off and fight... except the boy can't 'cause his legs all messed up. and everybody in the village says, "How wonderful."

Charlie Wilson: Now the Zen master says, "We'll see."

So how will 2012 be for you or me?

We'll see.

dm

You Are Failing For the Same Reason Congress Is Failing

2011-12-21T01:04:00.000-06:00

If you are struggling you might check to see if you have the same symptoms of failure besetting Congress. We will use the current payroll tax cut debate as an example,

Long Term Goals Conflict with Short Term Goals

For Congress the long term goal is to make the social security fund solvent. There should be enough money in it to pay people when they retire. For the last 10-20 years the debate has been how to add more money to the fund because there won't be enough money soon. Some options have been to raise the retirement age, lower benefit payments or raise the taxes going into the fund.

However, the short term goal is to get elected by either creating a small economic boost or at least appearing to give an economic boost by taking some of that retirement tax money and give it back to the tax payer. Of course, in doing so, they will not only be not helping the long term goal, they will be hurting it.

But to reach the short term goal they have to plunder the long term goal. My grandma called it "robbing Peter to pay Paul." Grandma also lived through the depression and did not count on social security.

How is your situation similar? I struggle with robbing from my future health to satisfy my current desires.

Congruence is when your values and behaviors align.

dm

Anyway

2011-06-12T19:38:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite bloggers is Scott Ginsberg, aka Scott the Name Tag Guy.

Here is part of one of his recent blogposts. Amazing stuff:

To those who try to steal your joy, be happy anyway.
To those who try to edit your truth, be yourself anyway.
To those who try to thwart your voice, be heard anyway.
To those who try to crush your spirit, be buoyant anyway.
To those who try to change your spots, be original anyway.
To those who try to silence your courage, be risky anyway.
To those who try to merchandise your soul, be true anyway.
To those who try to erase your name, be remembered anyway.
To those who try to justify your success, be awesome anyway.
To those who try to hypnotize your vision, be focused anyway.
To those who try to lower your average, be exceptional anyway.
To those who try to improve your dreams, be committed anyway
To those who try to belittle your ambitions, be dedicated anyway.
To those who try to vandalize your constitution, be heartstrong anyway.

Twenty Years Ago Today

2011-04-20T22:16:00.000-05:00

Managing Poor Performance

2010-11-16T20:29:00.000-06:00

Category: Mind

This post isn't really about football. It is about performance.

Today the kicker for the Pittsburgh Steelers, Jeff Reed, was told to clean out his locker. He got fired. Reed's performance has been pretty sub-par this season leaving points on the field.

Reed played eight seasons for the Steelers with a field goal percentage of 81.9%. Pretty dang good. It would have been better if the last two seasons were not included.

And that is why he was fired. His performance has been slipping. And in the world of professional sports, lack of performance is not tolerated.

In the business environment, however, there are various ways people deal with low performance.

1. You're fired.

The Trump model does happen. Some organizations take the attitude that if you do not perform you are out the door. Clean your locker.

2. Improvement Plan

In this model, managers attempt to identify the causes of low performance and help the employee correct the situation. An accountability plan that includes follow-up is put in place.

3. Ignore It

Many times the low performance is ignored because of appreciation for past service, or fear of reprisal, or a million other reasons. The bottom line is nothing gets fixed and the low performance continues.

4. The Shift

In this strategy, organizations move the low performer from department to department hoping that they will either magically improve or some other manager will figure out how to fix them.

5. The Push

Finally, the employee is nudged toward the door. The tactics may be kind or cold-hearted but the intention is clear. The employee may take the bait or stubbornly remain.

How does your organization treat low-performers? How do you as a leader handle low-performers? What strategies do you suggest?

dm

Lazy or Resting?

2010-10-23T12:25:00.000-05:00

Category: Mind, Body, Soul

Nobody has an unlimited capacity for production.

In our lives, in our careers, and in our days, we have a natural arc to the amount of output we can create until that output begins to diminish in quality. At some point we must refresh, renew and recharge.

So how can you know if you are resting or being lazy?

Here are some indicators for each:

You might be resting if:
- You feel a sense of tired accomplishment
- You feel sick
- You are allowing yourself to destress
- You are socializing with friends
- Others are telling you to take a break

You might be acting lazy if:
- You are avoiding obligations
- You feel guilty about your break
- You are pushing a deadline
- Others are telling you to get busy

These lists are not quite perfect because a workaholic can look at the first list and work through any of those reasons even when they should be resting. A lazy person could look at list two and rationalize away any of those reasons even though they should be getting to work.

But we should always remember that there is a time to work and a time to rest. Recognize the difference.

dm

Thoughts? Examples?

Can You Teach To Care?

2010-10-05T16:25:00.000-05:00

Category: Heart, Mind

The president of my company and I have an on-going friendly feud. The topic is over whether or not you can teach someone to care.

He says you cannot because it is innate. People either care or they do not.

He is winning the feud because of the nature of his position. He will be making a speech and talks about how “some in the training department think you can teach people to care but I don’t think so because…” blah blah blah. I never get a chance to rebut. He is clever that way. That’s why he is the president and I am a lowly trainer. (Well, that and the fact that he is imminently qualified.)

So I will use my lofty platform here to make my case.

1. Training is done in three areas; attitude, skills and knowledge. Caring is an attitude so you can train for it.
2. We teach our children to care. It is a value we instill as we parent them. If you can’t teach someone to care we would not be able to do this.
3. Where I think we may agree is that while we may be able to teach people to care (in general), we may not be able to convince them to care about the same things we care about. People care about things for self-interested reasons. The difficulty (or impossibility) is to get them to care about what I care about. I do not claim that this is always possible.

So how do you teach people to care?

Let’s use the acronym C.A.R.E. (in no particular order):

C – Connect to their experiences and motives

In training we talk about WIIFM (What’s In It For Me). You will need to show the individual that there is a personal reason for them to be concerned. If there is no reason for them to care you can bet they won’t. The fact that you care is not enough of a reason. The fact that they get paid to care will only be a reason if they feel a high enough risk that they cannot find satisfactory employment elsewhere.

A – Awareness of the situation

Many people are unaware of the reasons to care. They are unaware of their connections to the motives and their own experiences that give them reasons to care. If you are going to teach them to care you must raise their awareness level.

R – Respond to the situation

To teach someone to care means you show them how to respond. Awareness is not enough. If I am aware of a need but do not move to meet the need I really do not care. The act of caring comes through the behavior. The behavior may only be sitting silently with a friend in need or letting someone know they are in your thoughts and prayers. Or the behavior may be spending your money to help a charity or using your time to service a client. The caring is in the response.

E – Empathize with the person

Empathy is the intellectual identification with the thoughts or feelings of a person. This is different from sympathy which is being in harmony with the thoughts or feelings of a person. You do not have to agree to empathize. But it does mean you try to put yourself in their shoes so to speak. You try to feel what they feel. To teach someone to care you will want to raise their Emotional Intelligence so that they are more in tune to the thoughts and feelings of people around them. Help them become aware that “I” am not the center of the universe.

By doing these things we can teach others to care. And we should. We don’t teach people to care about jobs. We show people how their job impacts people and we teach people to care about people.

As poet Maya Angelou said, “If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.”

dm

Thoughts? Examples?

Power Nap

2010-09-27T22:49:00.000-05:00

Category: Body, Mind

Medical researcher Sara C. Mednick (author of "Take a Nap! Change Your Life") offers interesting insight into the power of naps and sleep:

Prime nap time is 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. That minidip in energy you experience is biological, not because you just ate lunch, Mednick says.
Sleep has three stages:
Stage 2 Sleep. Within 20 minutes, you experience "Stage 2" sleep, which increases alertness and motor skills.
Slow Wave Sleep. Within 40 minutes, you'll experience slow wave sleep, which increases memory.
REM Sleep. This is deep sleep you'll get if you nap for up to 90 minutes, and it increases creativity.
Low light and low noise will help you fall asleep faster.
Studies show that naps up to 90 minutes won't interfere with your sleep at night, so don't sleep too long. And don't nap within three hours of bedtime.

Do you power nap?

Categories of Right and Wrong

2010-09-14T16:29:00.002-05:00

Category: Mind, Heart

We all have to interact with other people. When coming to agreements and consensus we have to determine if what the other person (or people) is saying is right or wrong.

This is how conflicts start.

You say tomato. I say tomato. (Wait-that doesn’t work in print.) Anyway-you get the point. People have disagreements. The important thing is to decide when to fight for your point of view and how hard to press.

A quick way to determine how hard to press your point of view is to categorize the discussion.

1. Personal Preference

Some discussions are a matter of taste. Some like blue over red. Some like chocolate over vanilla. Some like one restaurant over another. Since most people are not willing to fight for their point-of-view, this is why it takes so long for a group of people to decide at which restaurant they will dine. However, if you have someone is always willing to make the decision others are marginalized and never get to choose.

2. Pass/Fail

Light switches are on or off. They work or they do not. Sometimes the answer is simple over what is right. 2+2=4. It just does. People love to say there is not always a right answer because it sounds so nice. But it’s also not true.

See?

When a decision is pass/fail you probably want to press your view point if you believe your view point will prevent a fail. Especially when the fail is a matter of critical importance. Even more so if it is of life or death.

3. Which is Better?

WIB is not the same as Personal Preference. PP says it doesn’t matter. In WIB we are saying that there is a better way to do something but it doesn’t mean the other way will not work at all (pass/fail). Which sales method will bring in the most sales? Which example will reach the most listeners? Which graphic will best convey the message?

We spend most of our conflicts in WIB. However, we act like we are in Pass/Fail. Learning when and how to press our viewpoint is a great art and skill. It is also important to learn to listen to others and recognize that maybe…just maybe, our way is not always the better way.

Thoughts? Examples?

Speak Gooder

2010-09-13T22:35:00.000-05:00

Category: Mind

I am working on a book titled How To Speak Gooder.

Quite honestly, public speaking is the thing I do best. I have been speaking for about 25 years in almost every environment imaginable. I decided to write down what I have learned because there are still a lot of speakers out their who are terrible. They need my help.

In the meantime, I have added a new twitter account @speakgooder. Follow me there for strictly speaking and presentation related info.

dm

Instead of Complaining...

2010-09-09T19:24:00.003-05:00

Category: Heart, Mind

Honestly? I am a complainer at heart.

I am actually a very positive person. I am just also a very verbal person. If something annoys me I verbalize it. It doesn't mean that I won't be over it five seconds from now, I just want everyone to know that I am annoyed right now.

I slowly am learning that (a) people don't care about what I am complaining about and (b) they don't realize that I don't think it is as big a deal as it sounds like when I am complaining.

Complaining seems to be a part of our society. Try a complaint fast and you will see how hard it is not to complain about anything.

Complaining occurs when there is a desired condition that differs from the current condition. During the gap between the desired and current condition there are three potential responses:

1. The complaint.

Just don't.

2. The solution.

Instead of complaining, offer a plan for moving from the current condition to the desired condition. Be sure that you are an active participant in the gameplan or nobody will listen. Nobody cares that you have a plan for their life.

3. The duck-tape.

Just slap some over your mouth and keep quiet. Ignore the desired state. Deal with the current state. If you can't offer a constructive solution just keep your trap shut.

Now, where is my tape?

dm

Thoughts? Examples?

Check Your Sources or Look Like A Fool

2010-09-04T09:55:00.004-05:00

Category: Mind, Heart

The core issue is trust.

Do people trust you you when you speak? Do people groan when they get an email (or tweet) from you that some ominous event is about to happen and all the facts are included right here?

Check your sources.

Will a frog really stay in a pot of water and die if the heat is slowly turned up to boiling? (No.)

Is President Obama really passing a law that you cannot sell your home without getting a license after making environmental upgrades? (No.)

Did Albert Einstein really say that compound interest is the most powerful force on earth? (Nobody can find a source where he said it.)

The point is you need to check your sources.

There is a news story today where even the POTUS had a new carpet installed in the oval office and a quote attributed to Dr. Martin Luther King was actually said by Theodore Parker. I don't blame the President, by the way. Surely, he has people to check these things.

But the point is that people don't check these things and end up looking ignorant when the facts come out.

If you want to maintain your credibility...check your sources.

dm

Thoughts? Examples?

If You're Gonna Do It...Smile

2010-09-01T22:26:00.002-05:00

Category: Mind, Heart

I listened to a keynote address today by Dr. Lee Manzer, a professor from Oklahoma State University. He made a brilliant point that applies to business and relationships.

Once you agree to do something, do it cheerfully. Otherwise, you will never receive credit for it.

Example, if a customer has to drag the response they want out of you, they do not talk about how great you were. They talk about how hard it was to get what they wanted...even though they got what they wanted.

Another example, if your spouse asks you to go to the store to get something when you are tired, once you realize you are going to do it, do not gripe and complain about it-just outwardly happily go do it. Otherwise, your spouse will never really be happy that you did it. They will feel like you did it because you were forced to.

Now in both examples, the fact is you did something you really did not want to do. But because you made a mental decision to give the other party what they wanted, the only smart thing to do is to give it to them with a good attitude or they will never give you credit for the action.

Either do not agree to do it, or do it with a smile!

dm

Thoughts? Examples?

Confessions of A Bad Dresser

2010-08-29T23:21:00.003-05:00

Category: Mind

I used to dress like a slob.

It would be nice if people didn't judge by appearances but they do, so I quit.

Here are some reasons you should consider dressing better:

- People evaluate you based on how you look, like it or not.
- You say you don't care what people think then complain when things don't go your way.
- Your spouse/friends/parents/employees/co-workers/subordinates/superiors are embarrassed when they have to introduce you and tell people they are affiliated with you.
- Your spouse/friends/parents/employees/co-workers/subordinates/superiors will never admit they are embarrassed by you.

Here are some things to consider to help improve your look:

- Iron it.
- If it is vulgar don't wear it.
- You can be casual at the right times without being sloppy.
- The heavier you are the harder it is to look good. Dress even nicer.
- The worse your hair is the harder it is to look good. Dress even nicer. And do something with your hair.
- Wear current styles but not overly trendy. People take pictures you will look at ten years from now.
- If in doubt dress nicer than you are thinking.
- If you are not tattooed or pierced, don't. If you are, think about how it looks and how it will be perceived. As Joe Perry of Aerosmith says, "Never get a tattoo you can't cover up for the judge."

Again...It would be nice if people didn't judge by appearances but they do. I don't make the rules, I'm just letting you know how they work.

dm

Thoughts? Examples?

New Car Smell

2010-08-27T11:35:00.000-05:00

Category: Body

"...happy birthday to you!" the crowd finishes singing as you blow out all sixteen candles.

Your parents approach as your heart begins to quicken.

Will they?

Your mother hands you a small box and says, "Go ahead...open it."

You open the box and see the single silver key with the black top and the Mercedes logo. You must be dreaming. There is no possible way your parents can afford this.

Your father smiles and tells you to look in the driveway. You see a brand new Mercedes with a large gift bow on top. You look back at your parents with a stunned look on your face.

Your mother says, "There is one condition."

You knew it was too good to be true.

Your father continues...

"This is the only car you will ever have. Ever. You can never trade it in. You can never sell it. You can never drive another. This is it. Your only car ever."

You think about it for a moment, but you think about the fact that these cars are made well. If you take good care of it you can make it last your entire life.

You accept.

How well would you maintain your only car?

Would you take it in for regular maintenance? Would you use the best motor oil? The best mechanic? Would you spring for premium fuel?

How well do you care for your body?

dm

Thoughts?

Be A Zebra

2010-08-26T13:02:00.003-05:00

Category: Mind

You are in the middle of nowhere. Nothing but prairie surrounds you with patches of trees here and there. From over the hill you see a cloud of dust and you begin to hear what sounds like thunder.

As the sound gets closer you realize it is hoofbeats. A familiar sound. Large animals. Powerful. Graceful. You have heard these hoofbeats of horses before.

They get louder and louder.

As they begin to pour over the hill you are shocked.

These horses are black with white stripes. Or are they white with black stripes? They are beautiful. Strange. Unique. Something extra.

Not what you expected.

As you go through life people see you coming. They hear your name or they know your type. They know your job description or your company or industry. They know what to expect.

Be a zebra.

dm

Thoughts? Examples?

Communication Breakdown, Part 2

2010-08-22T16:52:00.003-05:00

Category: Mind, Heart

In the last post I discussed the types of communication breakdowns. In this post I want to examine the reasons for breakdowns in communication and ways to avoid them.

1. Lack of Awareness

Sometimes we are unaware that communication needs to occur. Maybe we think everything is and will continue to be okay. Without communication a breakdown is guaranteed.

We prevent this breakdown by paying attention to others and listening to what others are thinking. By not being so narcissistic we are aware of what is going on around us.

2. Lack of Concern/Interest/Respect

Some people do not communicate because they do not want to.

We prevent this breakdown by helping them understand that there is plenty of abundance to go around and that it is to their own benefit to open up and let the world in.

3. Lack of Skills

Some people do not communicate because they are bad at it. They just do not know how to get from idea to expression.

We prevent this breakdown by training them in communication techniques, giving them opportunities to practice, and allowing them extra time to formulate their communication.

4. Lack of Clarity/Specificity

Many times breakdowns occur because each side thinks they understand what the other is saying when they do not.

This breakdown can be prevented by taking more time to listen to each other, repeating what we think we hear, and when necessary putting our understanding in writing.

5. Lack of Forethought

Breakdowns occur when we do not think ahead. We should always think about how our actions and decisions will affect people and processes down the road or downline.

This breakdown is prevented when we learn about others and ask questions.

6. Lack of Follow-Up

Sometimes you do everything right. You just do not check back in to see if it is still right.

We prevent this by setting up a time to check in and then checking in. Follow up has to be intentional or it will not happen.

By being aware of the causes of communication breakdowns and how we can prevent them we can begin to identify and repair the breakdowns in our own lives.

How serious are the communication breakdowns you experience?

dm

Communication Breakdown, Part 1

2010-07-31T11:39:00.002-05:00

Category: Mind, Heart

A fellow Led Zeppelin fan and I were discussing an event that happened at work recently when she said, “Just another communication breakdown.” She knew I would pick up on the Zep reference.

Communication is a two-way street of telling and listening, giving and receiving. Unfortunately, breakdowns in communication are common. In the first part of this series on Communication Breakdowns we will examine the types of breakdowns.

Six Common Types of Communication Breakdowns:

1. Unplugged

This is a total disconnect in communication. It never happens. Someone has information but for whatever reason never gives it to the other party. The breakdown is that there is no communication at all.

2. Distortion

This breakdown occurs when there is so much noise the message doesn’t get through to the intended party. This could happen because the recipient is overwhelmed with messages and doesn’t notice the communication or the recipient is stressed and only receives part of the message or an incorrect version of the message. This breakdown occurs because of external circumstances interfering with the message.

3. Bad Charts

No band can play together when the music charts are wrong. Breakdowns occur when communication attempts are confusing or incorrect. If someone does not speak well or listen well it corrupts communication. If fonts are difficult to read it corrupts communication. If contracts or speeches are given in legalese or technical jargon that nobody understands they become pointless. This breakdown occurs because the communication does not compute with the recipient.

4. Cult of Personality

Sometimes communication breaks down because people have different personality types or different communication styles. They are attempting to communicate but they are unable to relate to each other. They are not using the same words or symbols. Or the words or symbols they are using are not interpreted the same way. The breakdown occurs almost like a language barrier.

5. LSD

No, not the drug. This refers to Lead Singers Disease. Eddie Van Halen uses the term to refer to his ongoing feuds with the various lead singers of his band, Van Halen. He always blames it on them. They always blame it on him. This breakdown is often the same as Number 4 but on steroids. It is when things have completely melted down into a he said/she said situation. Nobody can agree on who said what. The breakdown is that either people remember things completely differently or participants are being stubborn, or both.

6. Second Law of Thermodynamics

The prior points were semi-music related but with the Second Law of Thermodynamics we would not be surprised to go off-track from that. That is because it says that the universe tends to go from order to disorder. Things get messier over time. In communication this occurs because the message gets changed over time and distance. As it moves along from person to person it morphs into something that no longer resembles the original message. Or it can be simpler. I have a thought. I speak the thought but it is not how I was thinking it. Or I type the thought but you don’t read it with the same tone I meant it. The breakdown occurs because the message deteriorates.

In the next post I will give my thoughts on the causes of communication breakdowns. I will also give some methods of preventing communication breakdowns. In the meantime, go jam to some Zeppelin.

What other communication breakdowns do you experience?

dm

Making Brilliant Decisions On Time Every Time

2010-07-14T19:19:00.002-05:00

Category: Mind

I have made some terrible decisions in my life. When I was younger I thought I had it all figured out. I wish that guy knew half as much as he thought he did.

As I have matured (lost my hair) I have learned how to make better decisions. I was largely forced into making better decisions because the older I have gotten the decisions have become more important and there are more people who rely on the ramifications of my decisions.

So what are the elements of a good decision?

1. Experience

Most choices we have to make are not original. Somebody has had to make that decision before. The circumstances may not be exactly the same but you can probably find someone with some kind of experience in the area you are dealing with. You also have developed your own experience over time. Don’t ignore that. Gather all the experience you can and process that.

2. Data

The more information you have the better decision you can make. Imagine you are a military General. The more information you have about your enemy as well as your own troops the better. Imagine you are a doctor. The more information you have about the patient’s current condition, medical history and current technological capabilities the better. The examples are endless. Get all the data you can process.

3. Trusted Advisors

Gather people around you that you trust who can help you process all of this information. They may see things that you miss or have other perspectives and knowledge that you lack. Surround yourself with people who have your best interest in mind.

4. Time

Never rush important decisions. Don’t buy into the “this weekend only” sales hype or any other technique used to pressure you into making a hasty decision. Quick decisions are reserved exclusively for emergencies like getting out of buildings that are on fire or decisions that are not that important. While it is possible to be paralyzed by analysis, many times we make the opposite error. Eventually you have to pull the trigger but don’t shoot the wrong person.

5. Gut Check

Always ask yourself if your Grandma would be okay with this decision. Unless, of course, your Grandma spent her days in an asylum. Many times we know what we should do but we are trying to figure out a good reason to do something stupid. Always ask if this decision meets the common sense test.

Finally, once a decision has been made, don’t live in the past. It is reasonable to admit a decision was a mistake. It is wise to adjust course and change paths. But don’t dwell on past mistakes and wallow in self-pity and regret. Don’t let people ridicule you or talk down about you. Pick yourself up and fail forward. We learn best by doing and failing.

How do you make important decisions?

dm

"Have You Ever Been Arrested?" Is A Relevant Question

2010-07-06T23:35:00.004-05:00

Category: Mind

Whether you have or haven't, the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" has relevance to your life. I'm not talking about about job applications, credit approvals or marriage proposals.

When I had neck surgery I started watching COPS on television. I had never watched the show before and I found it fascinating. My older brother is a deputy sheriff so it gave me a little insight into his life, but it also shows me this whole other world I know nothing about. I also realize I could never be a cop. I do not have the patience to tell someone to do something thirty times without shooting them in the face.

What is most fascinating though is observing all the little mind-tricks the officers play on their suspects. One of them is a common question they ask, "Have you ever been arrested?"

It usually goes something like this:

Officer: Have you ever been arrested?
Suspect: Yes.
Officer: For what?
Suspect: Possession.
Officer: How many times?
Suspect: Just four.
Officer: When was the last time?
Suspect: Uh...about a month ago.
Officer: Is this your crack pipe in your car?
Suspect: No man, that's not mine. I don't know how that got there.

You see how great the question is? By admitting to me your prior history (which you might as well do because I am going to check your i.d. anyway) you just made it perfectly plausible to me that this is in fact your crack pipe. Now if you have a clean record, I might be more willing to listen to your UFO story. But for now I am assuming this is yours.

So...what does this have to do with you? Or me? We are also people with a past.

Three things your record (history) says about you:

1. What you have done is probably what you will do.

Habits are powerful things. In the nature vs. nurture argument, they both come in to play here to create the person you are. And you are likely to continue being that person.

2. What you have done is going to bring a particular result.

Positive behavior brings positive results. Negative behavior brings negative results. There are bumps in the road of life. Random things happen to everyone. But generally speaking, 97 times out of 100, hard work and good behavior pay off.

3. What you have done does not have to be your future.

If you have a difficult past full of pain and/or failure, that does not have to be your destiny. It is difficult to change but it is possible. Surround yourself with the tools and support you need and you can do it. On the other hand, just because you may have had things go well for you, it does not mean things always will. Be diligent and vigilant or you can lose what you have in an instant.

How has your past shaped your future?

dm

My 100 All-Time Favorite Songs

2010-07-05T21:21:00.008-05:00

Category: Personal

I doubt you care but...

I have long had my list of Top 20 favorite songs. Occasionally, but rarely, a song will slip into my top 20 which means another song has to drop out. Over the last few months I've been compiling my Top 100 songs. The top 75 or so were actually relatively easy. Those last 25 get a little more difficult because you start leaving some other songs out.

And remember, these are my favorite songs, not what I think are the best songs. I can't explain why Love Will Keep Us Together is in there. It is just a catchy pop tune with a great melody. But I don't think it's as good as Hey Jude.

Other songs are there just because the lyrics hit me at a particular time in my life, like It Takes A Little Time and Kiss Your Past Goodbye. Most of the songs just have a groove that grabs me like Peach, Good Times, and Baby Please Don't Go.

I also seem to have a strange connection to my birth year, 1968. Elvis' Comeback Special was incredible and he was at his peak, there were many other great songs released that year like Mony Mony, Do It Again and Back In The USSR.

I tried to find versions on YouTube of all the songs. I was mostly successful. Can't get hardly any Dylan tunes there so I had to go outside for one of those. Also couldn't find Badoom Badoom by Sam Harris but I did actually find a marching band performing the song...so enjoy.

Finally, I put my Top 20 in order, the rest are in alphabetical order because even I have a hard time ranking them consistently after the first twenty. I also like a lot of Christian songs but that is a different list for me. It just gets too complicated in my brain if I try to merge the lists.

If you want to know why a song is on the list just ask and I'll be happy to explain. And oh yeah, that;s right, I put my own group on there because I had to admit I liked our version of Route 66 the best. But I've never uploaded us to YouTube so you can watch Nat King Cole. If you click on the song title though you can have a free mp3 of us doing the song.

dm

More Than A Feeling-Boston
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcsVPis1iNs

Do It Again-Beach Boys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQxdx-ScCvg

Still Havent Found What Im Looking For-U2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzwR2TJFDA4

Rock and Roll-Led Zeppelin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yjt9o_fQdQE

I Saw Her Standing There-The Beatles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xUijgqZ-xM

I Love Rock and Roll-Joan Jett and The Blackhearts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0ZicY7Oqmg

Runaway-Del Shannon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TLLcvWeiKw

Locomotion-Little Eva
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNNW0SPkChI

Love Me Just Leave Me Alone-Jewel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_c6NJhQiZU

Tumbling Dice-Rolling Stones
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvSgUH0Wn-M

Heart and Soul-Tpau
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwrYMWoqg5w

Love & Mercy-Brian Wilson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PISkFEzC5XE

Aint You Glad-Michael Omartian
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xMWGkn_MYg

Way Down-Elvis Presley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZqs1d-NHXk

Kiss Your Past Goodbye-Aerosmith
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sp9D1qoCkPA

Taking It To The Streets-Doobie Brothers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUE0r3fsWdg

Tom Sawyer-Rush
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7DFsBcVMDA

Run On-Blind Boys of Alabama
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOiquKuoDac

Folsom Prison Blues-Johnny Cash
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1xSt7iganA

Trying To Get To You-Elvis Presley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_Pxo-WnunU

Aint No Sunshine-Bill Withers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIdIqbv7SPo

Aint Talking Bout Love-Van Halen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNWArv4J4J8

Anythings Possible-Jonny Lang
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_egolcLiLC0

Baba ORiley-The Who
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cG_uDDEnzC4

Baby Please Don’t Go-Aerosmith
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dL_JdOCDkQA

Baby What You Want Me To Do-Elvis Presley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXgm6RQQiKY

Back in Black-AC/DC
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k816dPQyPAM

Back In The USSR-The Beatles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wh8wgBzVyNg

BaDoom BaDoom-Sam Harris
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7KoNzZZOEc

Be My Baby-The Ronettes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyGO5NRhzvk

Beautiful Day-U2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGRdaRujDKg

Bent-Matchbox Twenty
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=969RAKkYESU

Best of Both Worlds-Van Halen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jt7MH9UpMU

Better Be Good To Me-Tina Turner
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1C0mjj9QYc

Black Water-Doobie Brothers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRCNTlOgrCc

Blinded By The Light-Manfred Mann's Earth Band
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcWVL4B-4pI

Bridge of Spies-Tpau
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xoOHfhUTuI

Bridge Over Troubled Water-Johnny Cash
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7maJu5X7_Tk

Cant Stop Loving You-Van Halen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i7G61AnCvQ

Catch A Wave-Beach Boys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_58l7kRbe7M

Change In My Life-John Pagano
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lip2K4x2Mhg

Change The World-Eric Clapton
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kntzQiaFzOQ

Cherry Bomb-John Mellencamp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF0gsbQKhD8

China Grove-Doobie Brothers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9TzmgK91bg

Crazy Little Thing Called Love-Queen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zO6D_BAuYCI

Crocodile Rock-Elton John
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL3mYAsEp9g

Crying-Roy Orbison
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07NMA51D46c

Do The Right Thing-Simply Red
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLTJ5ktfyw8

Faith-George Michael
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu3VTngm1F0

Good Times-Easybeats
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNiY0siZY3Y

Got To Get You Into My Life-The Beatles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJ8WI3Q9jm4

Here Comes The Sun-The Beatles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6tV11acSRk

I Get Around-Beach Boys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDIBMaCTwFw

Ice Cream Man-Van Halen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqox8Ahfaok&NR=1

If I Can Dream-Elvis Presley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEO7uu1Pp8I

It Takes A Little Time-Amy Grant
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zBCXD6UdL8

Keep Your Hands To Yourself-Georgia Satellites
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Ur45vTtw0

Kids Wanna Rock-Bryan Adams
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYi2lqG2u9I

LaGrange-ZZ Top
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnMFOeEPUks

Like A Rolling Stone-Bob Dylan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzM2bM60vVg

Living For The City-Stevie Wonder
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeMfwUN5z_4

Love Will Keep Us Together- Captain and Tennille
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G0sOA6hTg0

Man In The Mirror-Michael Jackson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PivWY9wn5ps

Marcella-Beach Boys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VObboysPd8M

Mony Mony-Tommy James and The Shondells
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVig64dyD-8

My Baby-LeAnn Rimes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuizZcYvKU0

Never Been To Spain-Elvis Presley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdYYcMH4dmw

Not For You-Pearl Jam
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8z7eZGRlKd0

Paper and Fire-John Mellencamp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myo9wXrNUP4

Peach-Prince
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU2OSRiwl2o

Radar Love-Golden Earring
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6DFOMwv7l8

Raised On Radio-Journey
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PldA-M3Kjms

Ramble On-Led Zeppelin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3HemKGDavw

Rehab-Amy Winehouse
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LTPRJqt2z4

River of Dreams-Billy Joel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSq4B_zHqPM

Route 66-McLaughlin Brothers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCYApJtsyd0

Seven Bridges Road-The Eagles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knbqBAuEphw

Shake My Tree-Coverdale Page
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSvw_qcFlEA

Smells Like Teen Spirit-Nirvana
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTWKbfoikeg

Smokin-Boston
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_YUB8XKwb4

Smooth-Santana
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXp413NynFk

Stairway to Heaven-Led Zeppelin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugxFcmZXDyc

Stay-Maurice Williams and the Zodiacs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1Z_hskvz1M

Still of the Night-Whitesnake
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-Isl_KX2WQ

Subterannean Homesick Blues-Bob Dylan
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2798x_bob-dylan-subterranean-homesick-blu_creation

Surfs Up-Beach Boys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hYIlH4nOEo

Suspicious Minds-Elvis Presley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBmAPYkPeYU

Sweet Emotion-Aerosmith
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Py45RhylZaM

Take A Chance On Me-ABBA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-crgQGdpZR0

The Deeper The Love-Whitesnake
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq1jG352uNc

The Way You Make Me Feel-Michael Jackson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzZ_urpj4As

Time After Time-Cindi Lauper
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw8sYebCdh0

Tobacco Road-David Lee Roth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVBjvdyhssI

Tonight Its You-Cheap Trick
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s4kNVwQ-L0

Walk This Way-Aerosmith
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xoc2ahlP244

Welcome to the Jungle-Guns n Roses
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1tj2zJ2Wvg

Wont Get Fooled Again-The Who
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjA_RtsBfAo

You Oughta Know-Alanis Morissette
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPcyTyilmYY

Your Love-The Outfield
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N1iwQxiHrs

Youre So Beautiful-Def Leppard
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OfddBgnfI8

Experience Wanted

2010-06-07T18:13:00.002-05:00

Category: Mind

One day an old German Shepherd stops chasing rabbits because he’s discovered that he's lost that game. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?'

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the panther, 'That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!'

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says... 'Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!

Moral of this story...

Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.

Do You Want Your Change?

2010-05-24T22:38:00.003-05:00

Category: Mind

I was talking today with Jeff Cleary at the FranklinCovey organization about their excellent Speed of Trust program. I will be honest that there aren't too many trainers that I am blown away with. Jeff Cleary is someone I am blown away with. He is a very intelligent guy who has a tremendous depth of experience, skills, and knowledge. I always love talking to him.

I asked him how he gets class participants to buy-in and utilize the tools that we provide as trainers. Often I see that we can provide participants with great knowledge and/or tools but they walk away and do not utilize them. In typical Jeff fashion he gave a simple but profound answer.

Jeff cited research that shows there are three key components that lead people to change their behavior:

Components of Change:

1. Belief That Change is Possible

A person must sincerely believe that change is possible or they will not take the first step towards change. If they do move towards change they will not continue changing once they stop believing it is possible. Belief is the first requirement. New knowledge is usually the impetus towards belief.

2. Learning New Skills

Sometimes people do not know how to change and must be taught. We must teach/train them how to change. Learning new skills will enable them to do the work of change. Changing requires action and they need the skills to take action. We must provide the skills as well as the opportunity to practice and refine the skills.

3. Support from a Group

Individuals find change extremely difficult. A new skill, no matter how simple or exciting, is unlikely to be utilized if not supported by others. We are social creatures and it is within a social framework that we act and react. As we learn new knowledge and skills they must be put to use in the context of how they work in the real world and with other people. When we are part of a group we experience accountability from others as to whether or not we are utilizing the knowledge or skills.

Jeff emphasized that it is this third component of support/accountability that is lacking most often as people attempt to change or implement something new. We must help create support groups and accountability groups that will enable participants to effectively translate what they have learned into what they will use.

What motivates you to change?

dm

What I've Learned From My Ruptured Disc

2010-05-20T08:56:00.002-05:00

Category: Mind, Body, Personal

If you read this blog you know that on New Year's Eve I slipped on the ice and ruptured a disc in my neck. It took a couple months to diagnose the problem and then have been rehabbing from a very serious surgery since. I still have a few weeks left in the neck brace and then a couple months of physical therapy.

I have begun the process of looking back to determine what I have learned throughout this process. At first I thought maybe God was just trying to kill me. But my wife, family and friends have provided wonderful encouragement and support and have kept me going until now I can look back at it and laugh. Well, that's not true but at least I can think rationally about it now.

Here is what I have learned:

1. Compassion

I have never ranked very high on the "compassion-for-others" meter. I'm not an ogre or anything. I just figure if you are not living in a third-world country then you can stop your whining and get on with it. We all have problems.

What I realize now is that some of those problems really, really suck. People hurt. They are in physical pain. They are mentally stressed. They are emotionally drained. Pep talks and motivational speeches don't really help. Only love and compassion matter.

2. Humility

As you might deduce from #1 above I felt a little bullet-proof in life. I certainly wasn't born with a silver-spoon in life. More like a plastic spork. But I have always been confident in my ability to perform and succeed at whatever I set my mind to.

That all worked until my neck stopped working. Incredible how you can't do the simplest things when you can't turn your head or lift more than three pounds. (A gallon of milk weighs eight pounds.) When you are stopped in your tracks physically you realize how little control you really have. Control is an illusion. Be humble as you go through this gift called life. Whatever abilities you have could be taken from you in an instant.

3. Dependence

When you lose your abilities you become instantly dependent on everybody else. Or at least anyone willing to help. We love to talk in America about "rugged individualism." We talk about how we are self-made and how we pull ourselves up by our boot-straps.

What a load of crap. I have said that this idea is bull for a long time. We are all interdependent. Now, I have had to live that out like never before. I cannot thank my wife and kids enough for taking care of me. My co-workers have been incredible. They stepped up and did things for me without even being asked. I loved them all before but my depth of appreciation for them has grown to a point I cannot even explain.

4. Preparedness

What would you do financially if you were suddenly off work for a month and then could only work part-time for another month? When you didn't work you didn't get paid. When I found out I needed surgery I was off on FMLA leave fairly suddenly.

Thankfully, we were financially prepared and able to absorb it. I also have a good job with good insurance and benefits. A lot of people wouldn't be so lucky. One disc in your neck is apparently worth around $70,000 plus time off. It is important to have financial reserves and margin in your life to make it through such things. All those years of living below our means and debt free paid off.

I am sure there are more things to learn from this and, knowing how I lay awake at night and think, I am sure I will continue to explore them. Hopefully, you can learn these things from reading this blog post instead of tearing up your neck.

To your health!

dm

When You Assume About Your Communication

2010-04-12T07:28:00.005-05:00

Category: Mind

I love my CNN Text Alerts that I signed up to have automatically sent to my telephone. Anytime there is a big headline event the text is sent and I find out about it any time of the day. It is very handy during the day at work because I will find things out before anyone else because we are not camped out in front of televisions watching the news. I also receive them in the middle of the night and (if I decide to read them immediately) am among the first to learn about breaking news before you have even had your coffee. Just this last week I learned about finding the four dead miners in West Virginia via CNN text as well as the death of Poland's President because of a plane crash.

Occasionally, I see bits of communication that assume the reader knows enough about what is being read to fill in the blanks with their own knowledge to complete the story. This is poor communication.

A humorous example of this happened yesterday when I received my CNN text about who won the Masters Golf Tournament. I already knew who won so I deleted the message fairly quickly. But immediately after deleting it I wished I hadn't because I started laughing. I wish I could reprint it exactly for you but it went something like this:

"Phil Mickelson won his third green jacket today in Augusta, Georgia."

I started laughing because I realized that there was no reference to the sport of golf or even a mention of the Masters Tournament in the text. If someone who received the text was oblivious to the world of golf it could have been a confusing headline leaving all kinds of questions!

- Who is Phil Mickelson?
- How did he win that jacket?
- Why green?
- How did he win the other two?
- Why does he want so many green jackets?
- Who needs one green jacket, let alone three?
- Is there a Men's Wearhouse in Augusta, Georgia giving away green jackets?

Golf fans know that the green jacket is the coveted prize (along with the cash) for winning the Masters Tournament. But the text would have provided more clarity if it had said something like:

"Phil Mickelson wins the Masters Golf Tournament in Augusta, Georgia."

Remember when communicating to say the most important things clearly. Being colorful is good but only if the true meaning is not lost.

What other examples of communication missteps are you aware of?

dm

What I Learned In The Hospital

2010-03-25T21:25:00.002-05:00

Category: Mind, Heart

I just spent one week in the hospital following a neck surgery. It was the first time I had ever experienced anything as a patient more than an outpatient procedure. I learned a lot about what it is like to be a patient and thought I would share my insights with you and see how these health care issues translate into other areas of life. These thoughts have to do with the level of care and customer service I received as a paying customer (ie: patient).

What I learned in the hospital:

1. It’s Not My Job

The idea of having people specialize in roles is excellent because they can become really good at what they do. It becomes a problem, however, when a task arises that does not fall within a certain person’s area of specialization or worse, within anyone’s area of specialization (or job description). There are times that there is a need that may not be within your specialization but somebody needs to do it.

While I was in the hospital I had a nurse and a tech argue over who was going to hook up an ice machine that cooled my back to keep down the swelling and pain. Neither hooked it up and they both walked out leaving me, the customer, in agony for two more hours. Finally, another employee came in who thought they could figure out how to do it and got me taken care of. I praised that person by name later to the people in charge as well as identified the other two who refused to step up.

It may not be your job, but it might be your opportunity.

2. Kick the Can Down The Road

Why deal with it today when we can hope someone else will deal with it. I had an IV in my hand that every shift nurse for two days said, “Somebody needs to change that out, it looks bad.” But nobody changed it out. Finally, after my entire hand began to swell my wife insisted that the next person who said it was the lucky winner who got to change it.

It is easier to say “somebody” ought to do something than to do it. Remember, you are somebody.

3. Straight Up

The surgeon dug around in my spinal cord area so he knew I would be in an enormous amount of pain. He prescribed strong pain relievers. I never once asked for more than I was supposed to have even though I was still in pain. I even skipped doses to see if I was ready for less. But when I would ask for my pain pills some nurses would make me feel guilty about asking for pain pills. After getting tired of the attitude I asked one nurse about this and she admitted that they do it to try to wean the patients off of the medication. I informed her that the doctor prescribed the meds and the way to wean me off was to talk to me about it to my face and lower the dosage or frequency of the medication. Not reduction through guilt. By the way, the doctor did not agree with the “wean through intimidation” strategy when I discussed it with him.

Be honest with your customers and tell them what you need to tell them. Don’t hint, insinuate, pressure, coerce or manipulate. Just communicate directly when needed.

4. Please Leave Your Name and Number

You know the little button you push at your bed to call the nurse…well, sometimes it can take forever for anyone to answer that. I understand that they are out taking care of other patients but the wait times were unacceptable. Twenty minute waits were frequent, 20-40 minute waits were fairly common and 40-60 minute waits happened occasionally.

The floor I was on for part of my stay required that I not get out of my bed without notifying a nurse. If I have to wait 20-40 minutes to go to the restroom, get pain medication, or ask for help while choking to death, they might need to rethink the way they run this system. How about a way of buzzing them and letting them know if it is a Level 1, 2, or 3 need? That seems logical.

Look at your response time from the view of the customer. Ask yourself if you should change the way you do things to meet the needs of your customers instead of your own needs.

5. Anywhere But Here

Some people clearly hate their jobs. Everybody around them knows it. It is particularly bad, however, when the customer knows it. I cannot tell you the number of people who were charged with taking care of me who had horrible attitudes and never smiled. I would guess it was 70 percent of the staff.

That is what made the 30 percent that was happy so enjoyable. I am sure that the hospital staff have extremely difficult jobs under busy circumstances and can receive a lot of abuse from patients. But these are the jobs they signed up for at the moment. The patients on the other hand are generally there under involuntary conditions. So thank you when you come in and smile and act pleasantly.

Sometimes all we want is common courtesy. I had one therapist who completely ignored my wife when I introduced her. It was one of the most incredible displays of rudeness I had ever seen and I notified two of her superiors.

Be nice to your customers.

6. Trust But Verify

After spending a week in the hospital I understand how babies are stolen, people have the wrong body part removed, and so forth. The hospital seemed to have a good system where they would scan the id on my wrist and match it with the computer. The problem is they would verify they were giving me the right pills and then hand me the wrong ones. Thankfully, I knew what the pills were supposed to look like and was able to correct them.

The surgeon entered through the front of my throat so it was difficult to eat and swallow. I would select things on the delightful cafeteria menu that I could actually swallow such as oatmeal. So when they would bring breakfast what do you think they forgot? Yep, the oatmeal. I also don’t drink soft drinks so I drink tea occasionally. So what else do you think they would forget? Yep, the tea.

Quality control should be sufficient so that your customers get what they ordered. Or at least they don’t die.

7. That’s Just Rude

I just wanted to tell this story. Before the surgery a chaplain came in who was a very sweet lady. She talked with my wife and me, my mom and my brother. Then she prayed for me. It was all very kind, sweet and personable. As soon as she finished praying she said, “I believe everything will be just fine, David. Then after surgery you can get some of this weight off.” Then she turned and walked out of the room.

Don’t be rude to your customers.

I am sure that there are many people who work in the health care field who can give me numerous examples of how hard they work and stressed and abused by patients they are. They are not supported by their superiors or companies and any other list of things that make their jobs tremendously difficult. But that doesn’t change the need for excellent customer service and quality patient care.

These lessons can be applied by all of us, no matter what field we are in. Excellent customer service doesn’t get done by someone else, it gets done by you.

What do you like to do to show excellent customer service?

dm

Key Components of Financial Planning

2010-03-04T19:18:00.003-06:00

Category: Mind

There are many components to financial planning but they can basically be categorized into three main aspects:

Assessment

In the assessment phase of financial planning you will assess your current financial situation. It is important to know what your current status is so you will know how much work is involved to get to where you want to go.

The first step is in the assessment phase is to determine your Net Worth:

Assets – Liabilities = Net Worth

Assets are the things of value you own. Use the current value, not what you paid for it. Liabilities are the debts you have, official and unofficial.

The second step is in the assessment phase is to determine your current budget. This is an evaluation of your income and expenses. While we think of this most often on a monthly basis, an annual analysis will give you a more accurate picture.

The third step in the assessment process is to determine your future goals. You must know what you want to accomplish so you can lay out a plan for getting there.

Finally, it is important to note that assessing your net worth, budget and goals should be done on a regular basis to determine how appropriate they are for your current situation. It is a good idea to review them at least annually.

Investment

The investment aspect of financial planning could involve saving and investing for many things, such as:

· Retirement
· A home
· College for children
· Major purchases
· Etc

We will focus on investing for retirement. How much of your income should you be saving for retirement?

You should save enough to meet your personal retirement needs and goals. Common estimates are:

Age when saving starts (% of salary to save each year)

20-something (10%-15%)
30-something (15%-25%)
Early 40s (25%-35%)
45 and older (See below)

45 (37%)
46 (41%)
47 (44%)
48 (48%)
49 (53%)
50 and older (58%+)

Management

The final key aspect of financial planning is managing your finances. There are several areas you will want to pay careful attention to:

· Portfolio

· Risk

· Estate

· Taxes

You should manage your investment portfolio by:

· Knowing your risk tolerance

· Monitoring results

· Maintaining balance

You should manage your financial risk by being aware of:

· Investment risk

· Insurance risk

· Legal risk

· Security risk

You should manage your estate by taking care of your:

· Last Will and Testament

· Trust (if necessary)

· Advance Directive (Living Will, DNR)

You should manage your taxes by:

· Dealing promptly with any past tax debt

· Staying current on tax liabilities

· Planning for future tax issues

· Consider consulting a tax professional

The most important thing you can do is take control of your finances and know where you are and where you are going. Always be willing to seek professional help to reach your goals

How confident are you that your financial future is in good shape?

Yipyipyipyipyipyipyipyip...Get A Job

2010-03-02T12:45:00.004-06:00

Category: Mind

Hope you enjoyed the reference to The Silhouettes in the title. Anyway, unemployment is sky-high these days and many people are looking for work. I talk to people regularly who seem to have no clue of the basics of how to find a job.

Enter Harvey Mackay. He has released a new book, Use Your Head to Get Your Foot In The Door.

Mackay owns Mackay Envelope Company and has been a great business man and author for years. I have enjoyed his email newsletters, blog and tweets as long as I have known of him. His advice is rock solid and ahead of the pack.

1. If you are looking for work this book will be worth the investment.

2. If you have a job this book will help you keep yours and position yourself for a promotion or your next great job.

Don't mess around. Just go get this book and read it, study it, love it, live it. Mackay even offers a money-back guarantee if you do not find a job following the principles in his book. How can you beat that?

Why do you think people cannot find jobs today?

dm

The Keys To Unfireability

2010-01-14T20:09:00.002-06:00

Category: Mind

The unemployment rate is hovering around 10%. People who have been employed with the same company for years are finding themselves collecting unemployment and learning how to update their resume. Even the most confident of employees are a little nervous about job security these days.

While some companies may not weather the current financial storm there is a way to be sure that you are the last person standing. You want to be unfireable. There are four characteristics that every employee should develop to become unfireable:

1. Be a problem solver.

Are you an employee that creates problems for your employer or are you the one that solves them? Your job is to make your boss’s job easier-not harder. If you find a problem figure out a way to solve it. Be creative and proactive. Don’t wait to be told what to do. Take the initiative. Maybe your boss wants to be asked before you pull the trigger but at a minimum you should bring the problem to their attention along with a solution.

The person who creates problems, drama and never has an idea of how to fix anything will be the one who gets the axe.

2. Be profitable.

In all times, but especially in tough economic times, employers are looking for ways to reduce expenses. If you are someone who does not waste company resources and finds new ways to cut costs you will be a breath of fresh air. Most employees are asking for more perks or have ideas that cost money. Tell your employer where they can save money and you’ll get noticed.

In addition to saving money, make it rain. If you bring in the bacon and fry it up in the pan the company needs you. Bring in more revenue than your co-workers and you will always have a parking spot.

3. Be multi-faceted.

One trick ponies don’t last long when it’s time to start cutting heads. If you have five skills the company needs you will be kept on board when compared to the person who has one or two skills. But you will be cut when compared to the person who has seven (all other things held equal).

Before bad times hit it is in your self-interest to gain all the education and on-the-job cross-training and learning you can earn. The more you know about your company, how it works and how to work what makes it work the more safe you’ll be when the pink slips go out.

4. Be likeable.

If you have been a total jerk to everyone around you for years then downsizing day is the perfect excuse to get rid of you. Be careful who you step on along the way to the middle or the top or wherever you are. It could come back to bite you. Playing nice with others is a job requirement.

Even if everybody else likes you, if the person making the right decisions doesn’t like you then you will be collecting unemployment before you can say “DiSC Profile.”

These characteristics are crucial for getting promotions in the good times and staying employed during the rough times. With stormy weather remaining on the economic horizon you may want to brush up on your unfireableness.

What other characteristics do you think make someone unfireable?

dbm

My Favorite 25 Tweets of the Decade

2009-12-31T00:05:00.004-06:00

Category: Mind

Here are my 25 favorite tweets I made during this decade (posted from most recent to earliest). Enjoy and then follow me on twitter so you won't miss any during the next decade!

1. Whoever said they were dreaming of a white christmas never had to shovel snow. 12:58 PM Dec 25th from txt

2. When I go to hell there will be no flames. It will be freezing cold winter for all eternity. 8:00 PM Dec 14th from txt

3. Your value is determined by the love you give and the problems you solve. 10:57 AM Dec 13th from txt

4. Tired of hearing about your truth or my truth. There is only THE truth. Truth is that which conforms to reality. 11:13 AM Dec 4th from TweetDeck

5. Just sent my bride roses to celebrate 20th anniversary of our first date. I'd do it all over again. 10:14 AM Dec 2nd from txt

6. If you want to make a different kind of money you need to solve a different kind of problem. 1:08 PM Nov 30th from txt

7. Hope is not a strategy. 3:20 PM Nov 25th from txt

8. There is no such thing as free time. Doug Vrooman 11:41 AM Nov 24th from txt

9. If if's and but's were drives and putts we'd all be on the PGA tour. The late, great Coach John Griffis. 4:59 PM Nov 23rd from txt

10. Character is easier kept than regained. From the movie The International. Lame movie, great quote. 12:59 PM Nov 15th from txt

11. RT @Bryan_Duncan: "I've been tellng ppl God is my Fathr. They don't c the resemblance. That's how I know I'm adopted!" 3:34 PM Nov 14th from txt

12. If hunger is not the problem then food is not the solution. Paula Liotine 2:37 PM Nov 12th from txt

13. Stockdale Paradox: Never confuse faith that you will prevail with the discipline to confront the brutal facts of your current reality. 3:14 PM Nov 10th from txt

14. Just realized my zipper has been down all morning. Nice. So what have you been embarrassed by lately?9:52 AM Nov 3rd from txt

15. Being too busy for the right reasons will put you in the same grave that being too busy for the wrong reasons will put you in. Dr Terry Levy9:05 PM Nov 2nd from txt

16. Understanding does not equal agreement. You can gain understanding without giving consent.3:03 PM Nov 2nd from txt

17. RT @davidbmc Are you living your life based on probabilities or possibilities? Doug Vrooman ...that's right. That is so good I rt'd myself!3:03 PM Oct 16th from Txt

18. 4 health: eat breakfast, eat every 4 hours, don't eat after 9 pm, no carbs in the evening, walk at least 30 mins a day, drink 64 ozs water.1:04 PM Sep 14th from txt

19. You are always creating a mental vision of your future. What does yours look like?6:18 PM Sep 10th from txt

20. after much soul searching I finally decided to give up diet coke. Thanks to @jillianmichaels1:43 AM Aug 9th from txt

21. Passion creates motivation.7:03 PM Aug 5th from txt

22. A bad day for your ego is a great day for your soul. @jillianmichaels brilliant!12:32 PM Aug 4th from txt

23. More Than A Feeling is the greatest song ever. Always makes me feel good.4:51 PM Jul 30th from txt

24. My youngest son just passed out. He's fine now. His dad is trained by the red cross in cpr and first aid. You should be too.11:20 AM Jul 23rd from txt

25. You can only move as fast as the person in front of you. From Dog the Bounty Hunter.7:09 PM Jul 12th from txt

dbm

What I Learned During My Sabbatical

2009-11-22T19:46:00.002-06:00

Category: Heart, Soul

After being in church my entire life, being involved in serving in the "church" in one form or another since I was 12 years old (literally), serving in full-time ministry for 15 years before moving to secular vocation several years ago, and after teaching and writing bible studies on a volunteer basis for 7 years, I decided to take a one year sabbatical from ministry-related teaching during 2009.

This is what I learned.

1. I was more spent and exhausted spiritually, emotionally and physically than I realized.

I originally thought I was taking a sabbatical because I was a little tired and kind of bored with the class and just needed a fresh perspective after some time off. Wrong. I was severely burnt out but was in too deep to realize it. It probably took four or five months to come to that conclusion.

Lesson learned: You can burn out doing good things just as easily as doing wrong things. (I'm paraphrasing Dr. Levy there. Thanks Jennifer.) Take regular breaks to refresh and renew.

2. I am unhappy theologically.

I know what I believe. I even really do believe what I believe. I don't know that I am even stating this well but I do not necessarily like everything I believe. Don't go freaking out and worry that David is losing it or anything. The bottom line to this point is that I don't like all the answers I have come to. Many of them are unsatisfying to me.

Lesson learned: You can't understand God. Trying to make sense out of everything He does will wear you out and bring you questions that don't have answers other than "trust Him." Sometimes that answer sucks.

3. My future looks different today than it did one year ago.

When I turned 40 I wrote a book. At the end of the book I made a list of all these plans I had. That was a stupid idea. I still believe in making plans and working your plans but sometimes you have a seismic shift in your life that changes everything. I have decided to shift the focus in my writings from ministry-oriented topics to whole-life topics. This is in line with my newly revised mission statement: To fully develop my mind, body, heart and soul and to help others do the same.

Lesson learned: Don't announce plans you cannot sustain.

4. I am a very passionate person.

I have known this for a long time but I see more than ever how it has affected my own life as well as those around me. I wouldn't say I am bipolar, but I am usually a very up person but when I am down I am very down. However, you will probably never know I am down because I was raised to be an entertainer. To quote master lyricist Bryan Duncan, "I was raised on the lessons and the victory speech, and I fought for the standards that I could not reach." The show must go on!

I am becoming more passionate about being honest with my pain, doubts and imperfections. I can't decide if people don't want to hear them or if they are looking at me saying, "Well, duh!"

I also realize that my passion for whatever I am passionate about at the moment can overwhelm others so I have been practicing dialing it back so as not freak people out.

Lesson learned: I can't change the world but I sure do need to change.

5. One year is an arbitrary amount of time to set for a sabbatical.

Everybody keeps asking me when I am going to teach again. This is so kind and makes me realize that I am loved and appreciated. Thank you all for asking! The answer is...I don't know.

I can tell you when it is not. I will not start in January 2010. I will also not start up again teaching Voyage Through The Bible. It is a great program and I may teach it again in the future. If you want to hear it you can download the study guide for free and listen to the lessons online for free at http://www.voyageradio.org/. (If someone else wants to teach it, feel free!)

I have a few ideas of what to teach next kicking around in my head but I am in no hurry and just don't feel up to it yet. Maybe 2010. We'll see. I will not commit to what I cannot sustain. (See how I am learning!?!)

Lesson learned: Don't be pressured by yourself or others into doing what you are not ready to do.

Love & Mercy,
David McLaughlin

The See-Saw Manager

2009-10-29T21:51:00.002-05:00

Category: Mind, Heart

I had a thought today. Scary, I know.

Good managers are like see-saws.

Take a look at the picture of the see-saw. What do you notice? Look hard. Take mental notes.

Here is what you probably didn't notice. The item managing the entire see-saw is that little triangle right in the middle of the see-saw. It supports and balances the structure and function of the see-saw.

A good manager does not make themselves the center of attention. They are the balancing act between the company and the employee. They are bringing the interest of the company to the attention of the employee and the interest of the employee to the attention of the company.

When the manager does a good job they are not really noticed and everybody is having a great time. But when things are out of balance some one's butt is going to hurt.

What do you think of the see-saw manager concept?

dm

The Barriers To Change

2009-10-26T21:51:00.002-05:00

Category: Mind

The innovations of change can be difficult to implement because of barriers to change. There are many barriers:

a) Change is uncomfortable for people.

This is the main reason people resist change.

People are comfortable with the familiar. When you move them out of their zone of familiarity they are afraid of what will be waiting for them. People become locked into habits and old ways of doing things whether they make sense any more or not. People will hold to old methodologies just to avoiding learning a new skill or new piece of equipment. Once change is adopted, they often look back and wonder how they ever did things the old way.

b) The influence of others.

Even if you are open to change those around you may not be.

Negative attitudes are contagious. Since most people do not like change, the mere thought of change causes them to complain and voice every conceivable reason the change might not work.Unfortunately, this negative attitude can have a detrimental affect on those who may have viewed the change favorably in the beginning. They may begin to doubt whether or not change is a good idea. While it is possible for a positive attitude to overcome a negative attitude, it is much easier for a negative attitude to bring down a positive attitude.

c) Competing priorities.

To effectively change one must be focused on change.

Even when change is viewed favorably, it is difficult to accomplish because there are many things that distract us from accomplishing the mission of change. It is easy to fall back into the old way of doing things. It is easier because it is familiar. The new way has not yet been mastered so during a "time-crunch" we will go ahead and do things the old way "this time." However, this prevents us from truly implementing the new method or system which prevents real change from occurring.

What are other barriers to change?

dm

Mind, Heart: Can You Teach People to Care?

2009-10-14T19:22:00.007-05:00

The president of the company I work for and I are locked in a vicious battle of words. OK, actually we briefly discussed a topic once and he brought it up again to me yesterday because he mentioned it in an article he wrote and he knew I would disagree.

He was right. I still disagree even though he outranks me. But he is still better looking than I am so really, he wins anyway.

Here is his premise: You cannot teach people to care.

My premise: Oh yes you can.

Let me attempt to prove my point. My real job is that of a corporate trainer. In the training world we recognize that there are three learning domains for which we can train people: attitude, skills and knowledge (a.s.k.). Caring is an attitude, and to some extent a skill. Therefore it is something that we can train people for.

As a trainer we would analyze it like this--There is a current state (lack of caring) and a desired state (caring). What is in the gap? The attitude of caring. So we would set about training the people who need to be trained (the apathetic) to care.

Now the BIG question is, HOW do you train someone to care?

That is actually the easiest part! In training it is step one of any course you design and any presentation you make.

WIIFM--What's in it for me?

If you can explain to the participant how caring benefits them then you have taught them to care. Notice I said IF you can explain how caring benefits them. It isn't automatic.

Everyone is motivated by different things so you will have to find what motivates each person. You do not have to motivate them. You should never spend your energy motivating other people. Their motivation will run out and you will have to do it again. Instead, find out what motivates them and connect it to why they should care.

Example: Susan doesn't care about her customers. She thinks they are all stupid. She gives lousy customer service.

You want Susan to care so you help Susan see WIIFM (or WIIFS-What's In It For Susan).

By talking to her you find out that Susan likes her home and car and wants to keep them. In order to keep them she needs a job. She has two options, she can find a new job or keep her current job. To keep her current job she is required to give great customer service. So she begins to care about the same thing you care about.

OR--she decides that she hates this job and wants to change oil for a living. So she quits and leaves. AHA! (See-you can't teach people to care!) Wrong! Susan still cares. She just cares about what SHE cares about. What's In It For Susan. She still wants to pay her bills. She just doesn't care about what YOU care about. (Great customer service.)

But remember the point of the training? To care. Now, if you want to do training on great customer service, then that is an entirely different objective. That is a skill. Which is something else you can train for.

Do you think you can train someone to care?

dm

Mind: What Every Customer Wants

2009-10-08T19:00:00.004-05:00

This is Customer Service Week. I was thinking about this today and believe I have identified the essentials of what every customer wants. I doubt I am the first to do so, but this is my list.

1. Quality.

Give us a product that does what it is supposed to do for as long as it is supposed to do it and how it is supposed to do it. This is true whether it is a functional widget or a more artistic endeavor like a book, song or movie, or even a service like a hand car-wash or a doctor's visit.

2. Value

Give it to us for the best price possible. We do not want to overpay. We want to pay as little as possible even though that may mean we are paying a lot. If someone else can figure out how to charge less for the same quality, we will pay less. We may decide to pay less for less quality if we do not perceive the value of this product to be high enough or if it does not fit within our budget. Resources are limited so we must perceive value.

3. Service

From the initial offering to delivery we expect courtesy and respect. We expect you to either know what we want or ask us. We also know that after delivery...things happen. Nobody is perfect and errors happen. So apologize and fix it. Don't blame somebody else and don't make us wait.

4. Innovation

Why can't we build a better mousetrap? If we can send a man to the moon, why can't we _______? However, we can do without this category if we have to. If someone else does the innovation, we don't mind you being the copycat if you can beat them in the first three categories. If you do come up with an innovation, you must maintain the first three or we will move our business to them.

What do you want as a customer?

Mind: Realities of Success

2009-09-07T14:32:00.004-05:00

I have read several articles lately about the myths and realities of success. This has caused me to reflect on the successes, failures and continued struggles for "success" in my life.

Here are my thoughts:

1. Success must be defined individually. The word "success" usually brings to mind thoughts of cash, sports cars, exquisite homes and luxurious vacations. For most, however, it is more simple. Just enough will do, thank you. Maybe it means just enough time to stay at home with the kids or just enough cash to work part time. Don't accept anybody elses definition of success. Create your own definition.

2. Your individual definition of success is probably wrong. You just don't know it yet. You think you have accurately defined what will make you blissful. But you probably haven't.

3. Success is a constantly moving target. Number 2 is true because there are three kinds of people in the world. The first kind never think of these things and therefore never create a definition of success. The second think of these things but never make the effort to create their own definition. They don't get that specific.

The third kind are people who think deeply about these things and and will work through their definition of success. The problem with Group Three people is that they are thinkers and do-ers. Therefore, they are always analyzing and pursuing. Once they reach their stated definition of success (in fact, probably before they even get there) they have redefined the definition to create a new target.

The new definition of success includes one of two changes: It is either more of the same of the original definition or includes a new category to the definition.

This process can be healthy or unhealthy depending on the person and circumstances. It causes three possible scenarios:

a) Pushes them to greater achievement
b) Creates constant dissatisfaction
c) Creates a history of unfinished projects and dreams

What does success mean to you?

dm

MBHS: Knowing When To Quit

2009-07-31T18:14:00.003-05:00

I've always believed that sometimes you should quit. But not usually.

However, many times it is SO HARD to keep going.

Michael Hyatt wrote one of the best blog posts I have ever read about quitting. Please go read it.
My favorite line I took as a piece of advice:

I have a written list like this for every important area in my life. If I get stuck and want to quit, I pull out the list and start reading through it. Immediately, it gives me perspective and energizes me. It makes it possible to silence the voices and get my head back into the race.

Go read it. What are you waiting for?

dm